Thursday, January 04, 2007

How Are You Going?

I need to take a short recess from my holiday documentation to bring you this confusing report from my experience at Trader Joes last night. I was standing in the check-out line looking at the gourmet chocolate bars to the left of the counter when I heard the cashier greet the customer ahead of me with "How are you going?" I thought maybe I heard it wrong, because no normal person would say "How are you going?" That's just a weird fusion of the phrases "How are you doing?" and "How's it going?". The recipient of this greeting looked as confused as I was, and replied with an awkward chuckle. My default position on this issue was that it slipped out of her mouth incorrectly, and obviously she didn't catch it.

I was on high alert for abnormal greetings when I approached the counter myself. "How are you going?" she said. (Believe me, I watched her lips carefully to make sure.) The greeting was bittersweet: I was pleased that it validated my original confusion and it wasn't my hearing loss, but I immediately realized that I had not thought through my reply to this question. How does one answer this question? "I'm going by car? Shopping cart?" Do I pretend I heard "How are you doing?" and respond with the typical "well, thank you"?

Would she even listen to my reply as she diligently scanned my fruit bars?

I went the safe route and responded with a jubilant "Happy New Year". Please, stick to normal greetings so I can use my meaningless automatic reply. I don't want to have to think at the grocery store.

1 comment:

Will said...

That is pretty funny. I like mixing up my phrases too.

In fact, I have been known to confidently use the phrase "stand your guns" quite often.

It's a cross between "stand your ground" and "stick to your guns."

And actually, i think "Stand your Guns" makes much more sense than "How are you going?" - wouldn't you agree?

Another note: Maybe you guys in the cashier's line are the subject of a funny Trade Joe's Punk'd experiment or something. They are probably laughing inside as they note the different responses they've been getting.