Thursday, April 17, 2014

He Is Alive!

Let this be the soundtrack for your Easter season.

Kari Jobe - Forever "LIVE" from Robert Elam on Vimeo.


FOREVER  (Kari Jobe)

The moon and stars they wept
The morning sun was dead
The Savior of the world was fallen
His body on the cross
His blood poured out for us
The weight of every curse upon Him

One final breath He gave
As Heaven looked away
The Son of God was laid in darkness
A battle in the grave
The war on death was waged
The power of hell forever broken

The ground began to shake
The stone was rolled away
His perfect love could not be overcome
Now death where is your sting
Our resurrected King has rendered you defeated

Forever, He is glorified
Forever, He is lifted high
Forever, He is risen
He is alive
He is alive

Monday, April 14, 2014

Grief and Joy

Grief is such a long, weird roller coaster.  I haaaate roller coasters.

Life seems to plug along as usual, punctuated by happy memories or poignant reminders that tug at the heart and cause deep, proud exhales.  Then the next moment may find you evoking the spirit of Ron Burgundy, screaming "I'M IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION!Such was the case this past Friday.

Several things contributed to my grief-ridden outburst.  First, a close friend of ours experienced the death of a sibling.  His only sibling.  I can relate to the imprint this loss will have on his family, but not to the sudden, tragic way that it happened.  The unanswered questions regarding a life abruptly halted is a different kind of grief burden. 


I lost my brother in a different way... one that I had time (though not enough, never enough...) for which to prepare.  The implications of that, trying to understand what my brother was feeling as he courageously fought a losing battle, are an entirely different burden.  To be honest, I don't allow myself to "go there" very often- hardly ever anymore.  But I did on Friday after reading about a friend's life-threatening diagnosis. 

She bravely beat breast cancer last year- while pregnant, no less.  She gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and life post-cancer resumed, until she discovered a lump on her arm last week.  We awaited her news which she graciously shared with us via social media:  "It is not good news. I have Stage 4 cancer. It is in my arm, lungs, liver, bones, and brain. We pray that chemo and radiation (and God!) will work a miracle, but we do not expect one. "All to Jesus I surrender, All to Him I freely give; I will ever love and trust Him, In His presence daily live." 

I thought about her two young children who don't realize they may lose their mommy, and it hurt my heart more than I could bear.  I lingered in the sadness for a while, I had some meaningful conversations with my husband, and then I forced myself to stop thinking about it.  I have that luxury, unfortunately she doesn't. 

And then, to cap off the week, was a frivolous little made-up holiday called "National Sibling Day," showcasing itself primarily on social media.  My news feed was inundated with photographs of friends with their siblings.  And while this has never bothered me before, I was particularly sensitive this year.  

I wish I could have one more day with my brother.
I wish he could see my children, laugh and play with them.
I wish my children could know their funny, gentle, generous Uncle.
I wish my husband had a brother-in-law to battle in Fantasy Football.
I wish that grief hadn't destroyed my family.

So, yeah.  I let the tears flow.  It was physically and emotionally exhausting, but cathartic.  I needed it.  And now, having spent time grieving the pain of death, I can redirect my focus to the JOY of the RESURRECTION that defines this week, the overcoming of the grave through Jesus Christ and the hope of a pain-free, beautiful eternity in the presence of our God.

I love this season.
 
1 Peter 1:3
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead... (NIV)


Monday, March 31, 2014

Fantastic Firsts

I definitely wrote 2013 on a check yesterday.
(Yes, we still use that primitive form of currency from time to time.)

Anyway, here we are....in our third fourth month of 2014, and I feel like I just exhaled the whole Christmas season.  It's true that being a stay-at-home mommy can seriously mess with your notion of time.  Endless days upon endless days, they bled together as "stay-at-home mom" became a literal description of my life this winter.  And though I've been much more diligent about blogging this year (insert huge pat on the back!), I've realized that I missed documenting some pretty significant moments over the last few months. 

Though this post exists mostly to get these events officially "on the books," perhaps you'll enjoy celebrating some of these fun milestones with us!

Kendall was SO excited about her first trip to the dentist!  She was a great helper, and took home a PRINCESS toothbrush- a highlight of her life!!
Out with the old and in with the new...we thanked God for the many years and memories we had with our Honda, and welcomed our Nissan Maxima to the family!
This winter has been SO cold, we haven't had many opportunities to play safely and comfortably outside.  So when the temp spiked to 30 one day, we through on whatever snow gear we had and spent some time in the snow!

This was a first for the kids- they built a snowman with very little help.  And they named him....wait for it.....Olaf.
We were so proud of Kendall as she performed with 70+ children in one of our Sunday services.  They sang "The Virgin Mary had a Baby Boy" and "Away in a Manger".  She had a bit of trepidation the first time around, but by the second service, she was a superstar (complete with curtsy to close it out)!
On Kendall's fourth birthday, Chris and I took her to see "Frozen" at the theater.  The experience was memorable, as she giggled through most of the film.
We ALMOST made it through the winter without any significant illness.  But the "big one" hit in March, when Kendall came down with bacterial pneumonia, dismantling a family trip to the cities as Mommy and Kendall stayed home.
Leave it to the second to be the first.
Carter completed his first Parent-Tot recreational gymnastics class.  It is a perfect outlet for him to burn energy, and I enjoy the quality time with my second-born.
And, just because I am a proud Mommy, I'm going to attempt to upload a couple videos here, too.  :)

Saturday, March 22, 2014

That Moment When...

That moment when you look at your child and can really see yourself...

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
-Psalm 139:13-14

Friday, March 21, 2014

Reasons My Son Is Crying.

If you haven't seen this website, you must. Go now.
Especially if you have a toddler.
Especially if you have a toddler that cries.

www.reasonsmysoniscrying.com

Oh, I could fill a book with all the ridiculous reasons my children have freaked out.  I thought I'd keep my camera handy and capture some of these special moments from my own child.  It's tough being a toddler!  Here's the proof:
I chose to sing him "Jesus Loves Me" at bedtime.  He wanted "Step In Time" from Mary Poppins.

Daddy was giving Mommy a hug.
Daddy took him out of his carseat instead of Mommy.  "Mommy take me ouuuuuut"...for the next 30 minutes.
I put the tray of the highchair (which he doesn't use) in the dishwasher.
He asked me to put music on.  I put on Justin Timberlake.  He lost his mind.
He wanted hot dogs.  But not the hot dogs I gave him on his plate.  The OTHER hot dogs...in the refrigerator.
It's not all nuddles, people...but they certainly make these little bouts of insanity easier to sweep under the rug. 


Saturday, March 01, 2014

Nuddle is My Favorite Word

It's pronounced nuh-ddle.
As in..."Mommy, I want to nuddle with you."

It has become my very favorite word, because it describes my very favorite pastime:  snuggling with my little ones.

While Kendall has always been a champion sleeper (seriously, if it were an olympic sport...), but Carter has been a challenge from the start.  If you are a frequent reader of this blog, this is no surprise to you.

Prior to parenthood, I had such a clear vision of the kind of parent I wanted to be.  But something happens once you actually become a parent.  Family, friends, books, articles, media spots...they can all, at one time or another, put pressure on you to parent the "right" way.  You should be doing ______.  Your children should be doing _____ by _____ time.   It's easy to slip into the trap of letting others influence your parenting decisions, and I've let myself fall into that trap more than once.

I vividly remember one such experience at the beginning of last fall.  We had gotten Carter on a pretty normal nap schedule (a miracle in itself), but I had to hold him.  I enjoyed my break in the day.  It felt good.  But a few unintentional comments from others made me feel guilty for sharing this rest time with Carter...and the constant social media reports from moms-on-the-go made me second-guess my daily routine.  Perhaps I should be doing more, more, more.

I felt like I needed to change my naptime procedure to avoid being judged as a lazy stay-at-home mom.  So I started putting Carter in his crib for naps, and it was a struggle.  Half an hour here, half an hour there.  Crying.  Rocking.  Waking up his napping sister.  Crying.  Rocking.  I was persistent, and it did improve slightly over time...gave me time to do the dishes, anyway.  But no one was well rested, and I wasn't enjoying this time of my day.

On one particularly frustrating day, I brought Carter downstairs with me, ready to throw in the towel on his naps.  He promptly fell asleep as I sat on the couch, and I exhaled deeply.  Here we were, where we started.  It felt good.  It felt heavenly.  I stared and stared at the face of my youngest, hoping to memorize the peace in that moment.

Why hadn't I been doing this all along?  I want to!  So, I made the decision to make our "nuddle" time a priority again.  I know this phase won't last much longer...his naps are getting shorter and shorter...and I don't want to miss any of it (cue Steven Tyler).  Now, I have extra incentive to complete all of my household duties in the morning so that I can enjoy guilt-free cuddles with my baby.

I know what kind of parent I want to be;  I want to be the kind of Mommy that will set aside busywork to savor those snuggles.  They are a precious commodity.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

My Juice Cleanse Experience


I have three goals in life:

1.  To love God and serve Him first.
2.  To serve my husband in a way that allows him to be the best man he can be.
3.  To serve my children in a way that allows them to be the best people they can be.

A close fourth is this:

4.  To avoid having another kidney stone.  Ever.  E.V.E.R.

I have now had three kidney stones, all different experiences, but equal in shattering the ceiling on any pain threshold I may have had prior.  And I've pushed out two ten-pound babies, so that's saying something.

Memories of writhing on the ground, screaming in the car, later being pumped full of morphine were the driving force behind my desire to complete a 3-day juice cleanse, along with some lesser significant goals.  Now seemed as good a time as any, so on Monday....it began. 

Unwilling to shell out huge cash for an already prepared cleanse, I used recipes from this website to complete the DIY Blueprint Cleanse.  It was extraordinarily time consuming, but being at home all day, I had the ability to make it happen.  The produce cost me more than expected, but I hadn't factored in that produce is generally more expensive here.  (No Farmers Markets in the tundra.  Boo.) 

Positive Results from the cleanse:

- I felt a noticeable surge in energy every day. 
- I was pleasantly surprised that my hunger level was mild, if any.  I had a CLIF bar on days 2 and 3 to ward off some shakiness.
- I felt significantly more hydrated.  (I was definitely DE-hydrated going in to this week.)
- I lost a total of 6 pounds.  That wasn't the goal of this cleanse, but a not-so-shabby side effect.  :)
- I found I have a smaller appetite post-cleanse, and desire to avoid foods that counter my hard work.

Not-So-Great things about the cleanse:

- It was really difficult for me to consume that much liquid.  I really forced myself to drink all day long.  It's not that the juices were terrible (they ranged from yummy to tolerable), it's that I'm not used to drinking so much daily.  Confession:  I skipped the fifth juice entirely.  I just ran out of time each night. 
- I was cold.  Every day, all the time.  And cold is a feeling I really try to avoid (it's hard, believe me!).  Is there a hot-chocolate/coffee/wine cleanse for us Northerners? 
- It sucked up all my free time.  Next time, I'll do much more prep work.

NEXT TIME?  Yeah, I'd do it again. 

Thursday, February 06, 2014

Peace Be With You

 I did yoga once.

(I had to stop typing to giggle at the absurdity of this memory.  I can't even touch my toes.)

To set the scene, I was staying as a guest at the Ritz-Carlton Laguna Niguel as a gift from two of my students (perks of working at a Private School!) and a morning yoga-pilates class offered on a lawn overlooking the ocean (pictured above) was included with my stay.  So, I seized the morning.  It was beautiful, and quiet, and some people were tooooootally into it.  I enjoyed it, too, but to be honest, I was really just there for the view and the complimentary yoga mat.

It has become somewhat trendy in the blogging world to choose a "word of the year"...something you want to experience or perfect or move towards in the year to come.  The challenge is presented to me every January, yet every year I scoff at the idea of narrowing down my goals to ONE word.  Well this year, several weeks late, I've been overwhelmed with one specific goal...and if I had to choose A word to define 2014, it's this:

PEACE.

I want it.  I want it ALL the time.  When I think of peace, the picture above comes to mind immediately, but that kind of peace is a lie...a guise.  I don't want an artificial peace in between bouts of drama.  I don't simply want peace on my calendar (because let's face it, THAT'S not going to happen).  I don't want the NAMASTE kind of peace the world promotes through silly meditative practices.  I want the peace of GOD, the deep contentment that ONLY can be attained through Him. 

I've been under conviction lately that I continue to sabotage my own quest for peace.  One such way I do this is by replaying my problems over and over...in my mind, out loud, with other people.  Over and over and over....ugh!  What a waste of time!  I am acutely aware that living a problem-free life is not possible, but we can control how many times we live through the same problem.  All that time stewing is LESS time devoted to ways God can infuse His peace into the situation. 

It's really thrilling that when you genuinely seek the Lord, you will find Him.  And better yet, He will find you!  Verses have been jumping off the page at me left and right- verses that assure me I'm moving in the right direction...toward the perfect peace he assures.

 This is a quote that has resonated with me recently:
"Peace is one of the most obvious earmarks of the authority of Christ. A sense of peace will virtually always accompany His will and direction, even when the direction might not have been our personal preference." - Beth Moore

And here's a bit of Biblical yoga..."stretching", if you will:

Psalm 34:14  Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.

Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.

Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

John 14:27  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Philippians 4:6-7  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 So here's to 2014, and the pursuit of PERFECT peace!

 

Tuesday, February 04, 2014

A Sweet Celebration

Waaaaaaaay back in December, we celebrated Kendall's birthday with some of her little buddies from Church and play.  Having a birthday the DAY BEFORE Christmas Eve always makes planning her birthday parties a little tricky, but we snuck it in before Christmas week commenced and...the result was a very happy birthday girl! :)
All things sweet and swirly!  My favorite decorative element was our Christmas balls (already up for Christmas), wrapped in cellophane and tied up like gumballs.  Ingenuity helps to save a few bucks!

Our party activity was making "candy necklaces" out of Fruit Loops and Cheerios.  Some girls made fancy patterns!

We enjoyed a treat together....lollypop cookies instead of cake! 

Kendall LOVED all her new toys!  Girls know girls the best :)
A happy celebration with good friends.  Thank you for making FOUR so SWEET!

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Watching Disaster Happen

January 28, 1986

I was sitting in Mrs. Brown's third grade class at John R. Williams Elementary School.

It was going to be a special day, because Mrs. Brown had arranged for her grown son to bring a box television set to our classroom.  We had all attended an assembly the day before, during which one of our sixth grade teachers explained how her friend, Christa McAuliffe, had been selected as the first teacher to fly into space.  She beamed as she shared with us the application process Christa went through, and told us how all three sixth grade classes would be participating in a special Space Program Unit during the Challenger's mission.

The students in our class waited impatiently while our teacher's son fiddled with the television reception.  In fact, my fuzzy memory of this day includes a very clear memory of Mrs. Brown anxiously asking us to quiet down....several times.

There were a few minutes of waiting...questions, discussion.  The countdown began, and we excitedly joined in.  BLASTOFF!

For 73 seconds, we watched in wonder.  And then, disaster.

We now know what a disaster this truly was.  But in those moments, it was just confusion.  Confusion as our teacher grasped for an explanation.  Confusion as the country looked on in horror.

I don't have much memory of what ensued next, except a rather quick exodus of the television from our classroom, followed by an announcement over the PA system by our principal, explaining the fate of the space shuttle.


Some people have lived through a handful of these tragic events- there are many that preceded this, some bearing much greater loss.  This, however, was the first real disaster our generation witnessed and remembers.  Unfortunately, it wasn't the last as we've watched explosions, massacres, and terrorist attacks take their place in our mental scrapbooks.  Each bears a story as we remember sounds, smells, faces...all bringing us back to those fateful days.  

 Where were YOU when the Challenger exploded?  
(I've emotionally prepared myself for those of you who will respond with "I wasn't born yet".)



Monday, January 27, 2014

Checklist for Encouragers

Every time I pull up my Facebook timeline, I find a link to some kind of checklist.


27 Surreal Places to Visit Before You Die.
7 Simple Ways to be Happier
5 Best Ways to Survive "Christmas Shoes"  (serious LOL)
17 Cheap Ways to Stay Warm This Winter   (Local friends.  heh.)
100 Ways to Conserve Water. (California friends.  heh.)

I read some.  I'm amused by some.  I implement some.  I discard some.

Every time I open up my Godbook, I find checklists, too.  (See what I did there?)

10 Rules by which to Live
9 Attributes of a True Christian Life
8 Kinds of People God Blesses

The best instructions for life aren't found on Facebook or Huffington Post or BuzzFeed or latest issue of O Magazine.  They are found, and have always been found, right here in the Scriptures.

This week, as I was reading through 1 Thessalonians 5, I was reminded how important it is to be an encourager to others.  As these "instructions" are generally applicable to both believers and non-believers, I thought I'd share them here as inspiration for us ALL. 

Reference:  1 Thessalonians 5:11   Example : Build each other up.
Application:  Point out to someone a quality you appreciate in him or her.

5:12  Respect leaders.
Look for ways to cooperate.

5:13  Hold leaders in the highest regard.
Hold back your next critical comments about those in positions of responsibility.  Say "thank you" to your leaders for their efforts.

5:14  Warn the lazy.
Challenge someone to join you in a project.

5:14   Encourage the timid.
Encourage those who are timid by reminding them of God's promises.

5:14  Help the Weak
Support those who are weak by loving them and praying for them.    

5:14  Be patient
Think of a situation that tries your patience, and plan ahead of time how you can stay calm.

5:15  Resist revenge
Instead of planning to get even with those who mistreat you, do good to them.

5:16  Be joyful
Remember that even in the midst of turmoil, God is in control.

5:17  Pray continually
God is always with you- talk to Him.

5:18  Give thanks
Make a list of all the gifts God has given you, giving thanks to God for each one.

5:19  Do not stifle the Holy Spirit
Cooperate with the Spirit next time he prompts you to participate in a Christian meeting.

5:20  Do not scoff at prophesies
Receive God's word from those who speak to Him.

5:22  Avoid every kind of evil
Avoid situations where you will be drawn into temptation.

5:23  Count on God's constant help
Realize that the Christian life is to be lived not in our own strength but through God's power.


Source:  Life Application Study Bible                 
   


Friday, January 24, 2014

Era of the Princess

First, there was Snow White.
Then, there was Cinderella.
Then....a bunch of other ones.

And now, there's Kendall, fairest of them all.  (And I do mean fair.  We get far less than our fair share of Vitamin D up here.)
This is what Chris has been dreading since the day we found out we were having a baby girl.  Princess dolls and dresses, jewels and crowns are all as foreign to him as hockey is to me.  But, I'd venture to say that nowadays, the "princess phase" is inevitable.  And though there are hundreds of diatribes about how these fairy tales are creating unrealistic expectations in relationships and how no self-respecting woman should let a man rescue her (gasp!), I see it as a harmless milestone for every little girl.

Kendall received some princess toys last year, and they collected dust for months on end.  I scratched my head and thought do we have the one little girl in the world that doesn't care about princesses?  Then slowly, it happened.   Cinderella was broadcast on the Disney channel.  Fluffy dresses started to catch her eye.  Her little brother became her dancing partner at the ball.  Mommy's shoes became glass slippers.  Her fairy tale began.

Begrudgingly realizing this stage is unavoidable, Chris agreed to accompany Kendall and me to a Disney Live production here in Fargo last fall.  It was Kendall's first real encounter with Disney magic and though she was excited, she definitely didn't know what to expect.  I don't think we will soon forget the wonder in her face when the curtain went up.  And I certainly don't remember much of the show, as I was choking back tears...so grateful to be able to experience something so magical with her for the first time.

Though Chris still cringes at phrases like "Daddy's Little Princess" (and highly disapproves of any clothing bearing these words), I think we can agree that making our children feel cherished, important, and loved is among our primary goals as parents.  And when it comes down to it, that's what being a princess is all about. 



P.S.  I took the Princess Quiz.  Everyone is doing it.  I'm most like Aurora...."a vision of beauty inside and out, we are loved by everyone."  OBviously!  ;-)  Which princess are YOU?

Saturday, January 04, 2014

Glaucoma Awareness Month

January is Glaucoma Awareness Month.  You probably didn't notice since NFL teams aren't accessorizing in green like they do for Pinktober.  (Greenuary, anyone?)  Glaucoma isn't life-threatening like some conditions, but it could have stolen our son's eyesight.  Having lived through the experience of battling the condition on his behalf (he was only 3 1/2 months old when diagnosed), it's a pretty significant part of our journey with Carter.

We were invited to collaborate with other parents who have experienced/are experiencing Pediatric Congenital Glaucoma at Amplatz Children's Hospital (where Carter received his treatments).  We were unable to attend, which was a bummer because not many others can relate to words like "trabeculectomy" and "goniotomy".  Glaucoma is relatively rare in children, affecting approximately 1 in 10,000 births.

Many people ask us about the initial diagnosis.  HOW DID YOU KNOW?  Well, we didn't.  It's not like you look at your fussy baby and think, "Hmm...they must be crying because his/her corneas are ripping apart from extreme pressure!"  This is how it went down:


Carter's eyes began to appear bleary and red, all the time.
Carter began to close his eyes in any kind of light.
Carter would scream when placed on his back.
We thought he had a scratch, so the doctor prescribed drops...which made him scream bloody murder.
There was no change in their appearance, so we took him to our regular pediatrician.
The pediatrician referred us to her friend, an eye doctor here in town.
The eye doctor was suspicious of possible glaucoma, so she referred us to the specialist under which she had completed her residency....who happens to write the textbook on Pediatric Glaucoma...literally.
The surgeon (in St. Paul) gave us an affirmative diagnosis and scheduled Carter for surgery.
He went in for surgery at 7 months old, a double goniotomy. 
Two months later he had another surgery, a trebeculectomy in one eye.
Carter had to wear arm braces to prevent him from touching his eyes.
Following his procedures, we trekked to the cities every 6-7 weeks for a pressure check under anesthesia.
At 11 months old, he received his first pair of prescription glasses.
After a year of follow up, he was given a "thumbs up" and we were released from the surgeon's care.

Though the worst is likely behind us, we are diligent with periodic check-ups to make sure his pressures don't spike again.  Though Glaucoma (in later years) is not curable, you can slow the progression with treatments.  But early detection is key to keeping your eyesight in tact!  Here's my PSA for the day:  The Glaucoma Research Foundation recommends that you check for Glaucoma
  • before age 40, every two to four years
  • from age 40 to age 54, every one to three years
  • from age 55 to 64, every one to two years
  • after age 65, every six to 12 months

Here's to happy, healthy eyes!

Friday, January 03, 2014

Siberian Chill


If you follow me on social media, or if you actually live here in the arctic, you've been horrified along with me at the temperatures occurring outside.  Over the last six months, I've heard that it's going to be a cold winter.  "They say it's going to be a cold winter."  Well, pshh.  We live in Fargo, of COURSE it's going to be a cold winter. 

The proverbial they were right.

Good Morning America's meteorologist Ginger Zee gives Fargo a big ol' shoutout on a daily basis, it seems, while phrases like "Siberian Chill," "Polar Vortex" and "Arctic Blast" pop up regularly on the seven-day forecasts.  And here we are, smack in the middle of it.   For this California-grown girl who HATES being cold, I haven't been dealing with it very well.  There's a fair amount of childish foot-stomping occurring if I have to leave the house, and a number of tears that have been shed due to the pain affiliated with being outside at all.  I. Hate. It.

Last Monday, the temperature decided to spike up to the mid-thirties, something we haven't seen in a couple months.  You wouldn't believe the amount of people out playing in the snow....building snowmen, sledding, winter merriment.  I looked at my children who haven't played in the snow at ALL this year and felt pangs of guilt.  I should be letting them experience the snow!  So I sucked it up, pieced together a mis-matched, too-small snowsuit for Carter complete with his sister's boots, and took them outside.  Oh gosh, the excitement!  Here it is, documented for all to see:  I brought my kids out in the snow :)



Now, many people have asked me how I like living in Fargo.  There is a short list of perks, one of those being that the cold temperatures force us to SLOW DOWN.  Enjoying family, cuddling, eating in, being creative with our playtimes...all good things.  I've appreciated this aspect of living in the Northland, considering I came from a busy, egocentric metropolis.  The discrepancy is huge.

But there is such a thing as "too much of a good thing."
THIS happened today:

This winter hasn't been the "let's stay in by the fire and be cozy" romanticized sort.  It's been a "MY BODY HURTS WHEN I GO OUTSIDE,""BEING OUTDOORS IS LITERALLY DANGEROUS" kind of winter.  THAT kind of winter is no fun.  THAT kind of winter takes fun weekend plans and blows them away in 30 mph freezing cold wind.  THAT kind of winter makes us feel trapped inside, doomed to another day of jumping on couch cushions and pounding play-dough (this monotony, of course, bothers me much more than my children).

We spent almost half of December plunged well below zero degrees, and the forecast is pretty grim for us heat-lovers.  It's only January 3.  There's a lot of winter left to endure.

Pray for your frozen friends :)



I

Monday, December 02, 2013

Christmas Letter 2013


Merry Christmas to our friends and family, far and near!

Many of you have been directed here for the latest news on our family.  Though you are welcome to read my backdated posts from the past year (all 12 of them....pathetic.), I'll give you a brief summary of how our 2013 went down.

This year has been relatively uneventful, and we like it that way!  In January, we brought Carter to Amplatz Children's Hospital once more for an evaluation of his eyes under anesthesia.  The surgeon greeted us with news we had been hoping to hear for a year... "His eyes look beautiful!  In fact, the optic nerves show no sign of ever having had Glaucoma."  DEEP EXHALE!  We are glad to put that chapter behind us and move cautiously forward, monitoring his eyes with a local doctor about 4 times a year.

In general, we are a pretty healthy bunch.  Last winter, however, obliterated our immune systems over and over again.  Viruses made their way through every one of us, and then came back around again.  The treacherous temps outside kept us indoors, and it was difficult on all of us!  When the snow lifted in MAY, so did our "winter plague" and we galloped happily and healthfully into summer.

Kendall began a dance class once a week through a local studio.  She is enjoying all the creative movement skills she's learning, but is very selective with her audience!  We're excited to see her perform at her recital in the spring.  She has also leveled up in her AWANA program through our church...she is now a Cubbie!  The AWANA program emphasizes scripture learning and memorization, so working on her verse every week has become a fun new challenge.  Her teachers say she is their best student :)  Kendall is capable of having long conversations with us now....chatty chatty!  Her nurturing side is put to good use on her little brother, as she teaches him ALL the songs and stories she is learning.  She is a natural teacher, if I do say so myself...

Carter is a love-bug!  His frequent kisses and hugs make my Mommy heart jump for joy every day.  He is quick to emulate ev-er-y-thing his sister says and does, which can be quite entertaining.  He also has some musical talent emerging...I can see worship leading in his future!  His favorite video to watch (and we watch it daily) is a worship video from His Little Feet, an international orphan choir.  The songs they sing overlap with those he hears at church, and he knows every word.  I know we are doing this parenting thing right when he wakes up singing "hallelujah"!  He is very interested in Daddy's guitar and likes to sit with Mommy at the piano.  He is sleeping much better these days, usually going 8 hours-plus in his crib at night (Mommy sings "Hallelujah" too!).  We just love that little guy!

Chris has continued his work with Sanford Orthopedics, and has been working under two surgeons, one of whom is his dad!  He enjoys his profession, some aspects of the job more than others.  In his free time, he has been doing his brother-in-law, Derek, proud by revisiting all seasons of 24 this year!  Chris also had the opportunity to golf at Hazeltine National Golf Club, a highlight of his summer.  He is excited about his newest toy, a n-e-w Nissan Maxima!  

I have taken on a few more piano students, totaling more than a half-dozen now.  Most are completely new to the instrument (cue:  "Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start...").  It's so fun watching them progress!  I've also been heavily involved with the worship ministries at our church, and will be taking on more responsibility in the coming year as I've agreed to lead worship once a month in addition to my current rotation. Chris and I have also teamed up with a few other couples for a Bible Study- we enjoy community and good food together!

We hit the road for several trips this year...with Carter being considered a "lap-baby" until age two, airline flight was somewhat cheaper.  Chris' family congregated in San Diego for a family reunion in June.  We all enjoyed the San Diego attractions (zoo, Legoland, Sea World, Coronado Island) and they helped me celebrate my 36th birthday with a lovely dinner.  We spent some time at "the lake", soaking in the sunshine much better than last year!  Our dear friends, the Corns, traveled all the way from California to enjoy the lake with us, too...we had a blast!  Chris and I were able to enjoy a kidless weekend getaway to Charlotte, NC, where we visited some fun friends and beautiful landscapes.  My Mom joined us for a trip to California where we helped celebrate the ministry of our dear friend and pastor, Jim Dunn, as he retired.  The trip was full of moments and memories we won't soon forget.

Our family continues to grow and change (not numerically....I'm not announcing anything here!), and we are excited to see what the year ahead has in store.  I am trying savor these days that are so fleeting, watching the little ones learn and wonder and love, memorizing how it feels to rock my baby boy to sleep or my little girl's sweet voice as she tells me "secrets."  We love celebrating little victories, and love it when Carter shouts, "I did it!"  We're still working on vegetables around here, but I'm choosing battles wisely.  ;-)

Have a happy holiday season, and please keep in touch with us during this New Year!
Jamie






Thursday, November 28, 2013

My Little Turkey is Two

Gobble Gobble!

Happy Thanksgiving, all!
I am grateful for so many things, and though I would love to list them all, I fear that post would get too lengthy to enjoy.  So I'm going to concentrate this time on ONE very special blessing to me:

Carter Paul Stavenger, whose 2nd birthday just happens to be TODAY!

Due ON Thanksgiving in 2011, that little turkey decided to make me wait a full five days more before making his appearance at a whopping 9 lbs 12 oz.

He came into the world crying, and seemingly didn't STOP crying for a good 6 months.  (He did, but my memory has logged that time period as one lonnnnnnng, painful scream).  Of course, we didn't realize until month three that he was in a great deal of pain due to Congenital Pediatric Glaucoma.  After a series of surgeries and treatments, his pain was lessened and a long physical and emotional recovery for us all ensued.

I'm kind of embarrassed to say that while I loved Carter,  I had a hard time liking him.  He sucked up every ounce of energy I had, with nothing in return.  I held him for virtually an entire year and I was exhausted.  I felt depleted, not just as a mommy, but as a person.  Friends drifted away because I couldn't dedicate time to them.  And I didn't see any END to the misery...just phase after unpleasant phase, each with its own set of challenges.

And then...

We altered his diet a bit, and he started sleeping through the night!  Not consistently, but enough that I could get a few hours here and there.  It was improvement!  His eyes began to register normal pressures, and we could tell he wasn't in pain any longer.  He started wearing some darling little glasses and the "how did you know he needed glasses?" question became a regular part of my life.  I started looking at him through non-sleep-deprived glasses myself, and began to enjoy being with him for the first time.

And now as he turns two, God is rewarding me in full for the investment of love I poured into him as a newborn.  He has done what I didn't think was possible- surpassed the cuddliness of his sister!  My frequent kisses and snuggles are surely his way of saying "thank you, Mommy".  My heart is full.

If I could freeze time, I would.  This age is so precious.  So curious, so innocent, so pure and sweet.  Though he's not a baby anymore, he will ALWAYS be my baby.  Happy, happy birthday to Mommy's little boy. 

Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.  -Philippians 1:3


Friday, November 08, 2013

My Brain Hurts.


I was really smart back in college.

Seriously.  I look at old college notebooks and think, "Wow.  I used to know all this stuff."

One of the classes that I took was an Elementary Mathematics course.  Sounds like cake, right?  It was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life.  The bulk of the course addressed mathematical proofs, deductive arguments for mathematical statements.  For example, do two even numbers always add up to an even number?  If so, PROVE IT.  Oh, and you're not allowed to use numbers.  It's breaking concrete concepts into their simplest abstract terms, in which "simplest" involved a couple reams of paper.  It was awful.  I don't miss college at ALL.

I live with a three year old.  And with that being said, some days I feel like I'm living in that math class.  I wish I could record five minutes of my life.  (Parents of three-year-olds already know how this video would play out.)  In that five minutes, you would hear every form of question possible....twice:  Who, what, when, where, how, could I, may I, can we, will we, are there, why, Why, WHYYY??! 

The constant barrage of questions (cute, at first, then progressively painful) has me on my toes ALL DAY.  My goal with every answer: to minimize the amount of follow-up questions that are sure to follow.  I've learned from the early days of this curiosity surfacing that ONE question can become a twenty-minute conversation.  So, when the questions come, my brain attempts to quickly process the simplest and most concrete answer possible.  I've patted myself on the back a few times, thinking there is NO POSSIBLE WAY she could ask another question after THAT brilliant answer.  Wrong.  To a three-year-old dead-set on asking a question, ANY question, "WHY?" will always work. 

Kendall and Carter were particularly unruly yesterday, so I did what any Mom-on-the-fringe would do:  strapped them into their carseats and headed to Starbucks.  As expected, I got my ten minute break from their sibling harassment.  What I didn't expect was ten SOLID MINUTES of questions from the backseat.  After receiving my coffee from the barista in the drive-thru, the questions continued. 
"Mommy, why did the man not say hi to me?" "He was busy, honey."
"Oh, but did he see me?" "I don't think so."
"Mommy, why couldn't he see me?" "He was helping other people, sweetie."
(See how polite and patient I'm being??)
"Oh.  But are the other people getting coffee?"
"Yes, this is a coffee store."
"Mommy, why are we going this way?"
"Because this is the way home, Kendall."
"Oh.  But why are we going home?"
 (Beware:  Mommy loses her cool here...)
"KENDALL!!  STOP ASKING MOMMY QUESTIONS PLEASE!"

"Oh.  But, why?"
"Why Mommy?  Why do you want me to stop asking you questions?"

Face-palm.


Saturday, October 19, 2013

The Art of Shutting Up.


Years ago, Dr. Gary Smalley and Dr. John Trent developed a personality test that separated people into one of four categories:  Lions, Otters, Beavers and Golden Retrievers.  If you'd like to take the test yourself, you can do so here

I'll tell you my results in just a moment, but if you know me, you've probably already guessed. :-)

Recently, I was participating in a ministry event as a part of a team.  Everything seemed to be going well for the most part, and the leader seemed happy with what was happening.  But I wasn't.  During several preparation times, I let my opinions fester without verbalizing them.  After the event, I gave the leader my opinion....all of it.  I wasn't rude, and the leader received my strong opinions with graciousness and tact, but still I had an aching in my conscience for the remaining week of which I couldn't rid myself. 

People, I am a LION.
There's not even a close second.
It's no secret that I prefer decision-making over brainstorming, that I am comfortable in positions of leadership, that I am competitive and strive to be the best in everything I do.  The problem with lions is that their aggressive motivation often bleeds into the space where otters, beavers and golden retrievers live...and the result is not always pretty.  I'm certainly no exception.

The problem with the above scenario is that I used my lion-prowess in a situation where God had appointed someone ELSE (gasp!) to lead.  It's a rare gift for me to be a participant in such an event...to set aside the stress and intensity that comes with leading, to take a backseat and enjoy using my skill set.  BUT, this is not a natural place for me to be.  And while some find the backseat to be an enjoyable ride, I find myself fighting my nature to be submissive and QUIET. 

It was quite a butt-kicking from the Holy Spirit- conviction that I've been more attentive to in the past couple of weeks.  I posted a picture of a lion cub above for two reasons:  1) adult lions roaring are just icky to look at, and 2) I am cognizant that my two little lion cubs will learn BAD lion habits if I don't keep myself in check! 

There are many traits of "lions" that make them positive assets to those around them.  But lions are likely the most guilty of being overbearing and opinionated.  I have control over which qualities will define me, and am fully aware that God didn't make me a "lion" to embody the latter.  In fact, God has posted little reminders throughout his Word specifically for us lions.  My favorite as of late occurs in 1 Peter 5:5:

In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,
“God opposes the proud
    but shows favor to the humble.”

Perhaps you, too, are a lion whose roar needs to be tamed.  Beautiful things happen when others are given the chance to lead without unsolicited interruption from the lion's den.  I want to be someone who encourages, who empowers, who remembers that Jesus was both lion and lamb.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

How To Fly Like A Boss...With Toddlers.

After Kendall was born, we took nearly a dozen round-trip flights before she turned ONE.  Carter has not been quite so fortunate, but has logged a good deal of flight time as a lap-baby (after age two, I foresee our air travel diminishing somewhat.  Ka-ching Ka-ching!).

With the exception of one disastrous flight from Chicago to DC, we've never had a total plane meltdown and have gleaned, for the most part, satisfactory comments from those sitting around us.

Every compliment our kids receive is a direct reflection of our PLANNING and HARD WORK.
The fact is, with littles like ours, successful flying is a strategic undertaking of massive proportions.  And for my hours of stressing every minute of the travel day in advance, I am generally rewarded as negative attention is directed at children that are NOT mine.

I am often asked by newer parents, or those less familiar with the friendly skies, about the "dos and don'ts" of air travel in regard to children.  Here, my friends, is how to enjoy your travel:

1)  Plan your flight times strategically.  If you can avoid waking your kids up at 4:30 a.m. to head to the airport or returning far past bedtime, it will be advantageous to your (and their) sanity.  Planning flight times that coincide with scheduled naptimes, for example, give you a perfect opportunity for on-flight sleep (which will be the happiest scenario for you, guaranteed) or a time of day at which they are generally happy.  With that being said, don't plan a red-eye flight from Hawaii to CA and expect that they'll sleep the whole time.  They'll sleep SOME...and then the pressure is REALLY on to keep them quiet!
This is the best case scenario for all flights!


2)  Ask about family lines at Security Gates.  This one is hit-or-miss, but at several airports we have been ushered past LONG lines because we have a stroller and kids in tow (most recently SFO).  This probably, and justly, pisses a lot of other passengers off, but whatev.  ;-)  If they don't direct you to a separate line automatically, it doesn't hurt to ask! 


3)  Bring a BAG of TRICKS.  I can almost guarantee that if you pop their FAVORITE toy into the diaper bag, they will have NO interest in it come time for distraction.  Travel is a good time for NEW toys...they'll buy you at least five minutes :)  iPads and DVD players are only as good as your kids' attention span (mine have, um, none.) AND will bum your kids out when you have to turn them off for take-off and landing.  (Crossing fingers the electronics rumor is true and this will no longer happen!)

4)  Eat on the plane.  Meals and snacks both kill time and keep kids stationary.  If possible, save meals for the plane.  Keep kids WELL fed...snacks here, snacks there (use them as rewards wisely!).  Because we have traveled frequently, I can tell you that when it comes to kids, security tends to be very lenient.  Pop some juice boxes/bottles in a gallon bag- as long as you identify it at security, it should be cleared without incident.  Breast-feeding moms have a lot of leeway here.

5)  Forget about coffee or reading.  Your primary focus is your children.  Wanna finish that novel that's been sitting on your bedtable over a Starbucks Mocha?  FORGET IT (especially if you have a lap baby).  If you're traveling sans children, have at it.  But toddlers in a new environment need constant monitoring.  Their feet are just long enough to kick the seat in front of them, their fingers are fiddling with fold-down trays and window shades...and for the duration of the flight, they should have your full attention.  (Other passengers can easily identify parents who have "checked out".)

6)  Use your layovers wisely!  Whether you have an hour or five to kill, this is the only opportunity your kids will have to burn energy.  Don't be concerned about a little game of tag at the gate or a hundred laps on the moving walkway!  The pessimistic onlookers traveling with you will thank you when your kids drop to sleep on the plane.    And, as an aside, it takes some creativity nowadays to occupy kids for extended periods of time at airports...most have removed their playgrounds for liability purposes (rolls eyes, deep exhale...).

7)  Keep your children physically comfortable.  Airplanes can run sweltering hot or freezing cold...there seems to be no in-between here.  Dress them in layers...top layer can be used as a pillow if needed.  Have a supply of Children's Tylenol on hand (this is another item that should be identified at security).  And, for young children, give them liquids upon take-off and landing.  Babies don't naturally know how to pop their ears which causes a great deal of distress.  Swallowing can assist in their relief.  (For toddlers, consider suckers or juice as well.)

8)  DON'T let your children know that walking the aisles is an option!  I can't stress this one enough.  If you allow them that freedom once, they'll be clamoring for the aisles when they're tired of sitting.  Carry them to the bathroom if necessary, and even tell them that it is against "the rules" for them to get out of their seat.  It only takes ONE time for this rule to go down the toilet for you.  Kids aren't dumb...they remember...

Lastly, and probably the most important rule of all:

9)  KIDS WILL BE KIDS.  You may abide by all of the above, and they'll still go psycho on you.  This is the toddler way.  Sometimes the best you can do is to apologize to those around you, grit your teeth and count the minutes until that plane hits the ground (my method of coping is crying actual tears).  Your children won't always meet your expectations, and grace won't always be readily extended to you.  But if you put in the effort and make it a priority, chances are you will be rewarded with a kind word from the strangers behind you, or a compliment from the flight attendants.  And the greatest reward is the pride you'll have in your kids (and yourself) at the end of your travel day.

 Happy Flying!

Additional suggestions?  Learned a few lessons yourselves?  Leave a comment and let us know!