35 Things I Love about my Brother...on his 35th Birthday

I am celebrating today,
celebrating the day I became a big sister 35 years ago.
(Yes...your math is correct.  That makes me older than 35.  Hushyourmouth.)

In honor of Derek's 35th birthday, here are 35 of my favorite things about my bro.

(cracks knuckles, deep exhale....)


1.  He had wicked awesome Ping-Pong skills...skills that I have always failed to live up to, bringing shame upon my family.  Oh well.

Ping-pong....serious business!

2.  He trusted me with his wardrobe, allowing me to "make him over" several times in his adulthood.  It made Christmas shopping for him easy.

The last outfit I gave him...on his 31st birthday.

3.  He was my go-to movie critic.  Since he saw seemingly EVERY movie in the theater, I could always ask for a thumbs-up or thumbs down.

4.  He made me LAUUUUGH.  He was funny in a non-obvious way.  But if I was paying attention, he could have me in stitches on the floor.

5.  We both learned American Sign Language and used it to talk about our parents' Christmas gifts...right in front of them.  They'd really get steamed.  We'd laugh.

6.  He was generous with his time.  No one worked harder, fulfilling his volunteer duties at church and beyond joyfully...even if he had worked a shift all night.

7.  He was generous with his money.  He once bought me lunch after church, and I never paid him back...it became a joke between us, but he wouldn't have accepted it, even if I tried.

8.  He was generous with gifts.  Ten times he showed up at my apartment with a new season of F.R.I.E.N.D.S on DVD, just to see my excitement and spend some time with me.  It was his love language.

9.  He was a fierce competitor at Balloon Volleyball in our living room.  It was grade school, people.

10.  He kept memories fresh for me, some of which I had completely forgotten and still don't recall.  I miss those the most.

11.  He had this inherent genius on the computer.  Back when the internet went skaweeeereeerrrrt, he was typing in complex codes to black screens and blowing my mind.  

12.  We shared a love of television....24, ER, American Idol, The Office.  It made good fodder for conversation when we lived far away from each other.

13.  He had a crazy high pain tolerance.  IF he complained about not feeling well, he REALLY wasn't feeling well.  He internalized much of his discomfort, even at the end of his life.  

Chemo with a smile :)

14.  He could put me in my place.  If I was getting too rowdy during a sound check, my mic would suddenly be dead... Sound people have a lot of power that way.

15.  We shared a Micro-Machines collection and raced them on our piano bench.  That bench is now in my home, and those memories make me smile.

16.  He stuck to his guns.  I never ever ever ever ever heard Derek sing a note.  And I tried.  Tried to trick him into it, begged and pleaded...nope.  He was not going to do it.

17.  Derek loved surprising people with magic tricks.  His card tricks would have people floored.  As kids, we would be so stoked to watch the David Copperfield illusion specials...and we attended one of his shows.  Derek bought my ticket, of course.

18.  Determination.  He had to work harder than most people to overcome some physical obstacles and learning challenges.  He was successful in obtaining his degrees and beginning his chosen career.

Graduating from CSU Stanislaus with a BA in Criminal Justice

19.  He had an insane DVD collection.  But not because he loved DVDs.  He wanted his friends to be able to borrow them from him.  Again, a love language.

20.  He took U2 fandom to the next level, attending multiple concert tours, acquiring rare memorabilia and owning every EP and album they made.  Everyone who knew him knew he loved U2.  

21.  Back in the days of Napster, I could give Derek a list of songs I loved, and he would burn me a CD.  Even after Napster caved, he still found ways to make CDs for me, even if it cost him money (it usually didn't).  I miss that.

22.  He was the self-designated gift-distributor on Christmas morning.  First to rise, he would wake me up to open stockings well before our parents knew we were up.  Christmas is a sweet memory for me. 

23.  He was a loyal friend.  I believe he let one of his friends use his car for a week, even though it was an inconvenience for him.  The best kind of friend.

24.  He was a loyal teammate.  The guy drank ipecac in order to leave work for a softball game...and consequently played the game sick-as-a-dog.  Hey....I didn't say he was the brightest.

25.  He was a cool brother-in-law.  Chris enjoyed talking Fantasy Football and other things with him.  I wish they had more time together.

26.  He got to share in the excitement of our baby and was thrilled to become an uncle!  I shared with him the name we had chosen for our baby first.  He approved.  I know he is Kendall's special angel.

Uncle Derek feeling Kendall kicking at 6 months.

 27.  I've never been cool enough to have nicknames.  He was so cool, he had many.  Deez.  Dizzle.  El Nino.  Big D.  And, the one that started it all....De-de (compliments of his big sis at 3 yrs.)

Dizzle behind the sound board at CrossWalk

28.  I love the many ways I could easily make him feel super awkward.  As a big sister, it was my job.

29.  His laugh.  Oh, I miss his laugh.  It was a kind-of breathy exhale, followed by putting his hand up to his mouth as if he was going to spit out water.  Uncontrollable and natural.  Loved it.

30.  Patience.  I watched him in several specific scenarios exhibit extraordinary patience (the kind of which I couldn't conceive).  It worked out sometimes, and other times it didn't.  But it was a virtue of his that I admired a great deal.

31.  Speaking of 31...his dislike of ice-cream followed him through life.  Which meant, of course, more for me :)

32.  He had a gentle way with children.  Growing up in a day-care household, kids were always around.  In  adulthood, after Derek would come home from a work shift, he was quick to greet and often play with the kids.  They loved him.

The Day Care littles having a good time with Derek.

33.  I get my competitive nature from growing up playing games against this guy.  From our primitive beginnings playing Hungry, Hungry Hippos to more "sophisticated" games like Backgammon, a good challenge satiated both of our appetites.  Our annual Backgammon Tournament carries on this memory.

34.  He loved our dogs.  The only attention they really knew was Derek's frequent visits with them in the backyard.  He was heartbroken when we lost them. 

35.  Because he was a believer in Jesus Christ, I get to be with him again someday.  I'm so excited!  Save me a place next to you, Deez...

Mother, May I?

Maybe it's just at our house, but our little three-year-old has had a little problem with whining.
Mommmmmy, I WANT some juicy!
Mommmmmy, I WANT to get down!
Mommmmmy, I WANT more milllllllk!

And, every time, Mommy responds with...PLEASE ASK POLITELY.
Well, the three-year-old isn't catching on, and Mommy is tired of saying it.
So, we're trying a new tactic.

We have two signs now on our refrigerator door: 
One with a smiley face, and one with a sad face.
Now, all Mommy has to do is point to the sad face when the three-year-old forgets her manners.
This reminder should prompt her to use her "polite words", and Mommy's finger will in turn move to the happy face. 

Mommy knows, from years in front of a classroom, that if a behavior isn't changing, you change the approach.  Mommy and Daddy modeled this new strategy, and the three-year-old was VERY interested.  It's a stepping stone to self-initiation. 

The three-year-old may think this is a game, but little does she know how persistent Mommy can be when it comes to manners.  She WILL ask for things politely...hopefully this little experiment speeds up our success!

That Song in my Head

Music moves me.
OR, more accurately,
GOD moves me....through music.

Some people feel closest to God sitting in the middle of a forest or on a mountain.  Those places are nice, but I get totally distracted by the bugs.  Then I start thinking, "WHY God, why make such a beautiful place and mess it up with bugs?!"  So, yeah.  I'm not a great naturalist in that respect.

And I'm not great at meditation, either.  There's the "mom-my....Mom-my....MOM-MMMY!!" interruption, but even before children, meditation was hard for me.  I do it because the Bible clearly tells us to do so (Matthew 6:6, Mark 1:35, etc...), but it is HARRRD.

God speaks to me (or, rather sings to me) most clearly through song.  My approach to worship music as I listen is to disregard the artist.  My personal preference for voice or style can get in the way of the message.  When I let the LYRICS take center stage, powerful stuff happens.

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I remember the song Captivated (Vicky Beeching) took over my mind as I walked through the impressive, marble-laden Mosque in Casablanca, Morocco.  "No other could ever be as beautiful...", God said to me.

I sang with passion the song Mighty to Save (Hillsong United) as my brother was fighting for life, and with renewed passion after he left us.  "I rose and conquered the grave...." said my Lord, assuring me I'll be reunited with him one day.

I watched through tears as an orphan from the Children of the World choir sang He Knows My Name (Tommy Walker).  God said, "You have a Father...I'll never leave you, no matter where you go."

I was a block away from my apartment complex years ago when I had to pull the car over, overcome with emotion listening to Chris Rice's song Come to Jesus.  Still evokes tears EVERY time I hear it- so rich with meaning that spans so many of my life experiences. 

I followed God's nudging when I left Stockton to move to Southern California.  It was hard to leave my comfortable life, and when I fell in to bouts of stubborn doubt, Breakaway (Kelly Clarkson) always seemed to pop up on the radio playlist.  (Did you know God can speak through "secular" music?!  GASP!)

 "Holy Holy Holy is the Lord God Almighty, who Was and Is and Is to come..." sends chills through my body when I think about the scope of creation- in Heaven and on Earth- that is singing the same song (Revelation 4:8).  When I sing Revelation Song (Kari Jobe), I am mindful that those moments are something I share with my brother, who happens to have a much better view of the King of Kings than I do at the present time.  It connects me to my past and my future.

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When that "random" song pops into my head or into the worship set list on Sunday, I can't help but think that God has something to say to me...or you.  Sometimes I get to be the musical catalyst, and that is a gift in itself.  Take another listen to that song that isn't your favorite on Sunday morning, or the Chris Tomlin hit that's on the airwaves for the hundredth time today- perhaps something special awaits you.

Taking Care of the Pearly Whites

Carter sprouted four teeth at 10 months old.  Two on top, two on the bottom.
Now, at 19 months old, those four teeth are FINALLY getting some company in the form of molars!
Carter is already learning about good oral hygiene.  We let him brush his own teeth before we help and the result is...well, comical.  :)

Blog Woes

I haven't been a diligent blogger lately.

Oh, you noticed?  :-/

I'll make another embarrassing confession:  I haven't been reading many blogs, either.

But I'll tell you what makes me feel slightly better about my lack of blogosphere activity... YOU  haven't been blogging either!

That's right...YOU. 
I, along with hundreds of thousands of others, am having to make the tedious transition away from Google Reader (it goes dark on July 1).  As I've been taking inventory of the 65 blogs I follow,  I've become sadly aware of how many favorites have been abandoned. 

So, it's time to do some purging, and some freshening up, too.

If the date of your last blog post ends with "2011," you will probably disappear from my reader list.  Maybe that doesn't make you sad.  But I'll be wiping tears away with every push of the "delete" button.  (sniff...sniff) 

MAYBE there's hope!  MAYBE your next blog post is just around the corner, and a plea to SAVE your feed is in order!  Well, I'm all ears.  Eyes.  Whatever.  Go.

lianadickson.wordpress.com ....You were one of my favorites.  I've grieved your blog since your last post on April 5, 2010.  PLEASE tell me your new life adventure will produce some great blog fodder!!
deborahdanielle.blogspot.com... Sure, the subtitle of your blog reads: "I'm not very reliable with this blog.  Don't get too excited."  But your unhealthy obsession with Kelly Clarkson makes me feel more normal.  I need your blog in my life.
redmollycooks.wordpress.com... your humorous spin on recipe writing is just as savory as the recipes themselves.  I know you're very busy writing trivia questions and updating your Facebook status, but I miss the culinary inspiration.
eskimomomma.blogspot.com... I last heard from you on June 19, 2012.  Your manner of honest writing is always refreshing and, frankly, I just like keeping tabs on you from across the state!  I hope you find some inspiration to get eskimomomma back up and running!
alberico.net...I need more pictures of your cutie-patootie in his glasses!!  It's been TWO YEARS since you posted last!!
sluderfamily.blogspot.com...The "royal couple" is now about to have their first baby, and your last post was the day of their wedding.  There are SO many reasons I want your blog to continue... ;-)
ibby66.wordpress.com...Your writing always makes me so proud!  I knew you were a smart cookie when you brought C.S. Lewis to read in Second Grade.  I hope that summer vacation will free up some time for you to write!

And, I'm just going to throw this out there....HEIDI SNAVELY, you need to write a blog.  The end.

Alright, enough pleading from me. 
I expect my blogroll will be drastically reduced in the days to come, which means I have room for GREAT blogs to read!  Do you know of any must-read blogs?  What are your favorites? 

Our Daddy is the Best!

Our Daddy is the best.

He makes us giggle.

He puts our blankies under his shirt to make his tummy look big.

He gives big strong hugs.

He can eat his dinner REALLY fast! 

Our Daddy helps people at his job.

He is always excited to see us when he comes home from work.

Sometimes he takes us out for ice cream!

Our Daddy builds forts when it's too cold to play outside.

And he helps us on the playground when the sun is out!

Our Daddy teaches us about Jesus;

How to be kind.

How to share.

How to show love.

We know our Daddy loves us because he tells us every day.

 And we love him, too...

to the moon and back and back and back and back....

 HAPPY DADDY'S DAY to our favorite DADDY!!

(Note from the author:  I promise to post another entry before Mother's Day rolls around again...)

A Mother's Love

A Mother's Love

There are times when only a mother's love
Can understand our tears,
Can soothe our disappoints
And calm all of our fears. 

There are times when only a mother's love
Can share the joy we feel
When something we've dreamed about
Quite suddenly is real. 

There are times when only a mother's faith
Can help us on life's way
And inspire in us the confidence
We need from day to day. 

For a mother's heart and a mother's faith
And a mother's steadfast love
Were fashioned by the angels
And sent from God above.

-Author unknown

A Whole New World

THE SNOW IS GONE.

Hal-le-freaking-lujah!

The last couple days have reminded us what spring should feel like, and we've taken advantage of the warm sunshine and newly uncovered grass.  The kids can't get enough of it.  And it feels good to say KIDS, not kid.

You might remember our problems with the outdoors last year at this time.
Kendall was practically clawing holes through the screen door while we were cooped up with an extremely light-sensitive baby.  It wasn't fun....for anybody.

Here are some pictures of Carter from last summer-- a rare find, since he wasn't outdoors very often:

 Above:  We had friends over for a 4th of July bbq...but it was a huge bummer because we couldn't all be with our company at the same time.  Someone had to be tending to Carter inside.  This face would precede fits of screaming.

 Above:  Our lake reunion...pretty typical of all our family pictures last year.  Carter buried his face into my shoulder as far as it would go.

Above:  Carter's first time on our swingset (at the very end of summer).  He enjoyed the swing- I could tell- but hardly opened his eyes.

Fast forward to this week:  I took Carter out on our playground for the first time this year.  I don't think I'll ever forget his squeals of excitement.  I placed him on the platform....he stood completely still....and then started giggling.  And giggling.  Then laughing....hysterically.  His feet started moving and marching as quickly as his chuckles, and my mommy heart laughed along with him.  THIS is how childhood should be.  I have a feeling Carter will love and appreciate being outside more than others...I know I will, on his behalf.

Marriage is a Carnival. Or Something Like That.

We booked it months ago.

A Carnival cruise.  A celebration, five year of marital bliss.  Sunshine, beaches, food, fun....all systems "go" for amazingness.

And then, a cruise ship stalls on the water, a whirlwind of bad press for Carnival.
Then, another ship breaks down.  And another.
Conversations about our impending trip began to include the phrase "you didn't book on Carnival, did you?"  Yes.  Yes we did.  Before any of their mess erupted.

But that mess hasn't derailed our plans.  We're crossing fingers that Carnival will go over and above to assure confidence amongst their guests.  It's gonna be great.  Heck, our ship's name is Victory!

I think this planning experience has been a fitting representation of our first five years of marriage, actually.  Great expectations, nothing can go wrong.

And then, heartache.  Grief.  Confusion.  Dependency on each other, dependency on the Lord.  When we said our vows, we had no idea what kind of messiness would interrupt our lives.  We have faced more mess than the average newlyweds.

But it hasn't derailed us.  In fact, as trials tend to do, it has refined our relationship in ways I couldn't have imagined would have been possible...ways The Lord was working for "good" that I just couldn't see in the midst of such tragedy.  What doesn't kill you makes you stronger- right, Kelly Clarkson?

So, Bon Voyage, friends.  We are cruising into our next five years with a great deal of  experience behind us...and the confidence that whatever may come our way, well, we already have "Victory" over it!

P.S. I forgot to bring my swimsuit.  Sigh....

No Naps In Heaven.

Something pretty intense happens when one participates in leading a worship service.

When you know that GOD is empowering you to do what you do, it's quite humbling.
It's thrilling to be a part of the Holy Spirit's energy moving within our collective worship time.
There is camaraderie with fellow musicians, and unity is championed.
AND, it is personally gratifying to know that God is affirming you as you use your gifts appropriately for His Kingdom.

It's, like, wow.  Glimpses of Heaven.

I often leave church on a high.  I sing all the way home.  I reflect on the morning.  I thank God for allowing me to serve in the way I do. 

Then, I CRASH.  And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who experiences this massive wave of exhaustion after intensely engaging in worship.

Because not only is worship leading thrilling, it is also a massive sacrifice of energy.  It's an investment of time, and as artists, we pour our heart and soul into our worship gatherings.


It's the culmination of days/weeks of practice.
It means early morning and late night rehearsals.
It means exerting a crazy amount of energy.
It can literally be painful as shoulders, fingers, feet take an extra beating.
And, as I've experienced, the enemy tends to fight hard against those serving Him in any capacity.

As I was hardly able to move from exhaustion after such a morning recently, I was considering Heaven and what worship must be in the presence of God.  Um, intense much?  Much more than 5 songs on a Sunday morning, anyway.

How exhausting, right?!  Surely there are breaks for those gathered around the throne to rest intermittently...

I can't even wrap my limited brain around the idea of a body that doesn't grow weary.
That doesn't have the physical limitations that we do.
That doesn't need a NAP after worship.

Worship with no "after"...just WORSHIP.  All day.  Every day.  Forever.

It's gonna be incredible.
On this earth, we will grow tired and weary...especially if we're doing it right- worship leaders and worshipers alike.  To engage heart, mind, body, soul is intense, but satisfying.  It's the ONLY way we can live the way God created us to live- in communion with Him, surrendered lives postured to praise.

And it's okay to take a nap, too.  :)

This Post Has a Point, I Promise.

When Chris and I were dating long-distance, the two-hour time difference we experienced really made scheduling phone calls a challenge.  By the time I woke up, Chris was already at work.  By the time he was done for the day, I still had two or three hours left.  With multiple evening commitments on my end during the week, often my only opportunity to really "talk" with him was later in the evening before my bedtime (after Chris had already fallen asleep).  Conversations went something like this...

Me:  Hi honey!
Chris: (groggy and quiet)  Heeyyyyyyy.
Me:  How was your day??
Chris:  (still groggy) Goooooooood.
Me:  Sorry to call so late, I was at rehearsal.
Chris:  (as if stretching simulaneously)  Thaaaaat's okaaaaay.
Me:  What did you do tonight?
Chris:  (silence)
Me:  Chris?
Chris:  Huh?
Me:  What did you do tonight?
Chris: (yawns) nothin.
Me:  Do you want to go back to sleep?
Chris:  Mmmmmm...zzzzzzzz.

I learned pretty quickly that it's completely useless talking to Chris in his sleepy state.  SO, we switched our phone call agenda to a Chris-will-call-Jamie-on-his-way-to-work-at-4:30am-her-time plan.  I'm much more coherent in that kind of situation.

I don't know why I forgot all of this last night when I waited up till midnight to sing "Happy Birthday" to my sweet husband.   Because when I was done singing sweet nothings in his ear, he grunted and continued to snore.  FAIL.

*****
Our daughter Kendall has had some trouble....ummm....pooping.  She does "potty" like a boss.  But when a Number #2 is looming, her routine has become whining frantically as she holds it in for two days amidst multiple false alarm trips to the toilet. 

Such was the case yesterday as she threw herself around hysterically, complaining of tummyaches and refusal to "push one out".  This scenario makes everyone in our household frustrated and anxious to see her JUST GET IT DONE.

Off the cuff, Chris told Kendall that it would be a great birthday present for him if she would just do her POOPY in the potty.  Something about that statement must have been the incentive she needed, because ten minutes later, she was doing her business.

"DADDY!!  I HAVE A 'PRIZE FOR YOU!"
"I WENT POOPY IN THE POTTY!"

Me:  Hey Chris...you should come see Kendall's birthday present to you!!  hahahahaha :)

I'm still figuring out how to wrap that sucka.  :-P

*****

All of that to say:  we may not be eloquent, but we want to wish a great husband, daddy, friend a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY in our own special way.  We love you!!

Resurrection

Res-ur-rec-tion  (n.)

1. The act of rising from the dead or returning to life.

2. The state of one who has returned to life.

3. The act of bringing back to practice, notice, or use; revival.

 

This day is a celebration of resurrection- that of the LIVING CHRIST, who conquered the grave and shattered the darkness, affording me an ETERNAL life with Him.  

 

This is a beautiful time of year.  In some places, green plants are bursting up from the ground, some even sprouting bits of color.  Here in North Dakota, we don't get to enjoy traditional spring goodness;  Sundresses are replaced with closed-toed shoes and warm jackets, Easter eggs will be found in houseplants rather than hidden in grass, and our Easter bunny will have to sludge through the remaining two feet of snow in our yard.

But somewhere under that blanket of white is the promise of green.  

New life.  Resurrection.

It's coming.  In fact, as I type, the sun is beating down and our snow drifts are getting smaller.

I'm acutely aware of so many things in my life that need constant resurrection.

Sometimes it's as simple as the ability to get out of bed in the morning.  After a bad night with the kids (and both have had their issues lately), I physically need an infusion of energy, attitude, LIFE.  I pray often for this...morning, nighttime, and all the time in between.  Jesus, give me NEW LIFE today.

Sometimes it's a freshening up of things that have become stagnant.  Marriage, motherhood, worship, wardrobe...big things, little things.  A romantic date night, a fun art activity for the kids on a cold day, playing an old favorite song a new way, buying a new pair of jeans... make a little effort and the effects are great.

Reconnecting myself to my own health has been a much needed resurrection in my life.  When I decided to institute some self-control in order to restore self-esteem I've gradually lost over the years, the outcome was drastic.  20 pounds out the door in almost four months will do HUGE things for a positive spirit!

Most importantly, I need a daily resurrection of my connection to God.  I pray for opportunities, quiet moments in which I can invest in that imperative relationship.  I allow too many distractions to infiltrate my life, things that deaden my ears to his voice and blind me from seeing his work in my life. 

As I write this, I am praying for you who is reading...may you experience resurrection today wherever you may need it the most.  And, above all, may you know personally the NEW LIFE that comes from the resurrection of Jesus Christ. 

Happy Easter to you and yours!

I'm Baaaaaack!

Thank you!

I've received messages in various ways from over a dozen of you, expressing....well, concern for me and lamenting the lack of posting on the 'ol blog.  I've thought about you.  I really have.

Me:  I should blog today.
Bed:  You are getting sleeeeeepy...very sleeeeepy.
Me:  (Yawn.)  Maybe later.

Me:  Whew- a few extra minutes while the kids nap.  (Opens blogger...)
Carter:  WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Me: (sneaks up to computer for a few minutes)
Husband:  HUNNY!  I'm home!  What's the plan for dinner??

Me:  Here, sweeties...play with these toys while mommy does the computer.
Kendall:  But MOMMMMY!  I want to play MY GAMES on the 'PUTERRRR!

Me:  Let's try this again...
Phone:  BZZZZZ!  BZZZZZ!  BZZZZZZ!
Me:  Hello?  Oh HI!  Yes, I have time to talk...

Me:  Finnnnaaaally, kids are in bed.  Where was I?  Oh yeah...Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Truly, I've had a half-finished blog post for two months...now it needs an overhaul because it's outdated.  I'll get on that.  But at this time, I just wanted to let you know that I'm alive, I'm okay, and I'm slowly regaining some motivation for getting back to business here.

Friends, family, followers...thanks for sticking with me.
:)

See Ya on the Other Side.

Chris and I made a pretty big decision for our family last week.
It happened while we were sitting in church.

I was attentively listening to Pastor Matthew's sermon when I happened to glance to my left and caught the eye of a friend sitting with her family on the opposite side of the Sanctuary.  We exchanged a quick smile and wave, and continued our studious note-taking (pfft!).
Shortly after that, I saw another friend, and another friend, and another friend...all sitting in the same general area of the Worship Center. 

Admittedly, I tuned out from the sermon for a few moments to evaluate the current situation.  We sit on the right side of the Sanctuary.  Always have.  It was most convenient to slip out with a fussy baby to the nearby nursing mommy room. 

Well, guess what.
I'm not a nursing mommy any longer.
And, months later, even though I play piano on the opposite side of the stage, I exit the opposite side of the stage, and everyone we KNOW sits on the opposite side of the stage, we were sitting in the same old place.  It just didn't make sense.  Let me illustrate...

The above shows where I play the piano on a given Sunday morning.  It's on the left side of the stage.
We usually sit just to the right of this picture, about 5 rows up on the side.

 

 To get to my seat after worship, I exit the stage on the left, go down a flight of stairs (sorry, I couldn't capture that in my illustration), across the downstairs choir room, down a corridor of classrooms, up another flight of stairs, down the aisle of the church, around and up (with an occasional detour to the cafe).  No wonder I'm always out of breath when I finally sit down!

Wouldn't it be easier if we just SAT on the left side?  It literally astonishes me that we didn't think of this months ago. 

Now, I know church seating can be tricky territory. 
If you sit someplace long enough, it can feel like you own it.
I know, because I grew up Baptist ;-)

But, I'm learning to embrace change in my adulthood.
Some changes we don't have control over.  I've had a lot of those lately.
And other change shakes things up just enough to give us a welcomed new perspective.

Our new perspective will be from the left side from now on...or until we feel another change is necessary.    If you're at Bethel on Sunday, we'll see you on the left side ;-)

Star Spangled Silliness

Dude.
One whole month of 2013 is almost in the books, and I have TWO blog posts to show for it!
It's not that I don't have a whole stash of amazing prose in my brain...(that may be a slight exaggeration...)
It's just that, well, we're on potty watch 24/7 'round here.
You know how that goes.
"Kendall, do you need to go potty?"  "Kendall, let's sit on the potty!"  "Kendall, no!  Wait!  Let's get to the potty before you.....sigh."
As it is, my hands wreak of anti-bacterial hand soap, 409 and carpet cleaner are in the bullpen, and my eyes have been perpetually fixed on the aforementioned three-year-old.

So, there you have it...a whole blog post about why I haven't written more blog posts.  Awesome.

Here's a random tangent...
All of the media attention regarding Beyonce's alleged lip-syncing has been, in my opinion, silliness- silliness we'll have to relive in several days because I'm pretty sure Superbowl Halftime acts get a teeny weeny bit of recorded help, and the "controversy" will be kicked up all over again.  I'm okay with it.  There are plenty of variables that make a live, outdoor show quite challenging.  Just do your thing, Beyonce.  Do your thing.

I saw this and it made me laugh hysterically...I think even non-musicians can appreciate the humor in this:

I'm sure Alicia Keys will produce a similar rendition this weekend before the big game.
We'll enjoy watching it with good friends and good food :)

I'm a Fun Girl, I Promise!

I went out to lunch today.
Sound exciting?  Maybe not to you, but fairly monumental to me.  Let me tell you why.

It required me to get out of my pajamas and put on my makeup...before noon.

If I live in close proximity to you, chances are you haven't seen much of me in the mornings.  It's not that I'm a hermit...I'm not.  (But she is.  haha)  I used to be what's called a "social butterfly".  But these days I've been looking more like a recluse moth.

Having a child who doesn't sleep can be taxing on both the body and spirit.  After waking up multiple times a night with Carter, I learned very quickly that I couldn't recoup my energy in time to be functional in the morning.  (Some people are born with this gift, I am not.)  Coffee, even in abundance, is just no substitute for sleep.  So, I just took mornings OFF the calendar.  And, to be honest, it lifted some anxiety...the awful feeling of knowing you have to be up and out in an hour and you're still rocking a baby.  However, my spirit has been suffering as my inherent need for connection has been squelched.

I remember having a similar feeling a couple months after Kendall was born.  It was February in Duluth, and- uh- it wasn't warm outside.  The easiest scenario for me was staying bundled up inside and enjoying naps with my newborn.  But two months inside our little house (with a dog that drove me crazy, I might add...) gave me an intense case of cabin fever.  I remember making the decision one day to change it.  So, I started making daily outings to the mall, just to walk.  And walk.  And walk.  It was an empowering decision...accompanied by an "I can DO this" kind of freedom.

I had a similar epiphany recently, but have felt physically limited by sleep deprivation.  HOWEVER, and I'm a little afraid to report this because it could literally change overnight, Carter has been on a week-long slumber-fest, giving us stretches of five to eight hours a night!  Do you KNOW what a difference this can make to one's energy levels!?  I've actually felt fragments of my old self being uncovered slowly- a desire to get up, get going, spend energy on friendships because I have a little bit of excess to spend, finally.

I know life is all about seasons.  This has been one long, sleepless season and unfortunately, some of my new friends in Fargo know me as nothing other than a tired, frustrated Mommy.  I'm hoping we've turned a corner here in the sleep department.  And if not, I'm willing to summon all the energy I can to be more intentional with my relationship building.

My new friends here in Fargo have extended more patience and grace to me than they even know.  I'm excited about getting to know them better, and so SO grateful for long-time friends who have been rocks for me during this life transition.  Oh man, God is good.

This rock-solid group of friends has carried me through some tough times. I love you guys!

Christmas 2012- That's a Wrap!

Time for the ol' Christmas WRAP-up!  (See what I did there?)

For me, the Christmas season is always this weird dance between sentiment and stress.  After all, creating memories for my children usually involves some pretty hefty planning on my part.  I'm happy to do it, but I recognize my limits.  In anticipation of this, I completed all of my Christmas shopping prior to Thanksgiving.  It might seem over-ambitious, but it left room for me to enjoy my kids in the midst of the holiday chaos.  With Kendall's birthday (and now Carter's, also) falling between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I have enough to keep me busy WITHOUT the added burden of wackos at the mall.  It works for me.

Here is a little sampler of what we enjoyed as Christmas drew near....
I FINALLY got around to this Pinterest project that I've been excited about completing.  Glad we did it this year, because these little hands aren't getting any smaller...

 

 We put together our Christmas tree and stopped to bask in the new living room ambiance.  My attempt to take an adorable picture of my children in front of the tree was, well...unsuccessful.

 Kendall finally made peace with Rudolph after watching the classic Rudolph movie on television.  "He's not scary!  He's nice!" thankfully, has been her mantra the better half of December.

 We took our kids for the first time to the Rheault Farm Santa Village, where Kendall was able to write a note to Santa (someone explain to me the logic of writing a note and mailing it to the NP when you'll meet Santa in five minutes...but whatever), decorate cookies with Mrs. Claus, and meet the jolly man himself!  Kendall was not at all apprehensive...plopped right up on his lap, asked for a "pink dolly" and was elated that she received a sucker at the end!

 

 (Above:  Kendall proudly displays her sucker, while Carter plans to swoop in for the kill...)

 Kendall also watched the classic version of "Cinderella" for the first time, ushering in the era of the princess :)

 Chris, Jamie and Donna enjoyed a Christmas concert featuring Kutlass at our church.

 Kendall, Mommy and Grandma did lots of baking this holiday season, and Kendall was an eager hostess :)

 We began Christmas Eve festivities with a candlelight service at Bethel.  It's kind of terrifying having a toddler with an open flame! After safely extinguishing our candles, we made our way over to the Stavenger home to celebrate Christmas with Chris' family. 

Christmas morning was spent at our home- a mellow, jammies-all-day kind of celebration (arguably the best kind!).  Kendall is at an age where she is pure entertainment when opening and enjoying gifts.  She is so expressive!  Oh, the magic of Christmas to a child!  Speaking of Christmas magic, Santa brought Kendall her very own tricycle...which she has yet to master but is totally excited to learn!  She also received a toy hair salon kit and opened her own "salon"...Mommy, Grandma AND Daddy were all willing customers.  Carter...not so much.

 And, as much fun as it was to watch Kendall open her gifts, it was equally as fun to watch Carter experiment with his newly discovered walking ability!  Toddle toddle toddle BOOM!  He is quite adventurous, needs no prompting, just takes off across the room!  We have, consequently, invested in some new gates. :) 

In the midst of all of that craziness, both kids had birthdays and parties...but I'll have to save that report for another post.  My fingers are bleeding... ;-)

We hope your Christmas was jolly! 

Merry Birthday!

This is my little girl, Kendall.
Isn't she cute?
Tomorrow, December 23rd, she turns THREE years old.

Because she arrived nearly two weeks late, she's got one of those awkward too-close-to-Christmas-stress-mommy-out birthdays. 
Eventually, her birthday celebration will have to be distanced from Christmas festivities- already, it's proving to be icky...it's just a busy time for EVERYONE, and I really want Kendall to feel like she's a priority on her special day.
This year we're keeping things low key and relatively blended- but it will be the last year we do it this way.  Maybe we'll celebrate her half-birthday, maybe we'll celebrate a couple weeks early, we'll get it figured out. 

I'm so excited to celebrate this girl tomorrow. 
She has been the greatest blessing of a child I could ever imagine- patient with her brother, sleeps like a champ, loves to help, entertains us with her singing and dancing.  She has more personality than that petite body can hold, so it spills out and leaves a trail of sparkles everywhere.  

God knew we needed her, and she has brought so much joy to our family.
Happy birthday to my sweet Bug-Bug, Kendall Mendall!

Blessed Assurance

Well, [long exhale here]...

Last Sunday, we were part of a worldwide candlelight vigil for parents who have lost children.  Less than a week later, twenty more sets of parents were violently inducted into that horrible club.

I've had some time to process the events of last Friday, though I'm not anywhere close to reconciling this horrific act with a peaceful spirit.  The two are diametrically opposed.  I know that others are trying to do the same, and we're all failing miserably.  I've seen posts insinuating that this was somehow God's will or that it happened because we've removed God from the schools, yadda yadda.  People, this is JUST NOT TRUE.  It was NOT God's will for these precious children to die in such a tragic way.  I fully believe His heart is broken over this, just as it was when His Son died a brutal death on the cross.  And, without embarking on a political commentary here, God is as present in the schools as He has ever been.  Just because children aren't rallied together to pray doesn't mean that God has fled and left school children to fend for themselves.  It's just not so. 

As we ALL struggle to restore our faith in humanity, and more importantly, lean into our faith in God, it's important to remember what is TRUE, what is CERTAIN.  A message from Bayside Church's pastor resonated with me, so I'll share this excerpt with you:

I am certain that this senseless act breaks the heart of God because…
  • I am certain that God understands what it means to lose a son
  • I am certain that every one of today’s victims was precious to God
  • I am certain that God is near to the brokenhearted
  • I am certain that no life is ever devoid of meaning no matter how short
  • I am certain that Jesus meant it when He said, “Let the little children come to me”
  • I am certain that life is precious and that every day with your kids is a gift
  • I am certain that America needs to rediscover a reverence for life
  • I am certain that a day is coming when suffering will cease and God will reign
  • I am certain that when anyone closes their eyes here for the last time and wakes up in the arms of Jesus – they will be more alive than they have ever been. 

I have seen the effects of losing a child first-hand, and it introduces an element of fear in me that I can't even describe.  I don't know how I would cope had it been my own child caught in the line of fire.  Honestly, I can't even allow myself to think about it too hard.  My heart aches for the community of Newtown, as reports of daily funerals trickle in.  All I can do is pray that the PEACE that passes all understanding descends on them and that the nearness of God makes itself overwhelmingly apparent.  I know you are praying that with me.

The Light of Remembrance

Our family will be again participating in the upcoming Worldwide Candle Lighting, an annual hour of remembrance for all children who have died, at any age, from any cause. 

Started by The Compassionate Friends and now in it's 16th year, it takes place the second Sunday of December, this year on Dec. 9th.  Around the world, candles are lit from 7:00 pm to 8:00 pm in each time zone, creating a wave of light circling the globe. 

Perhaps the timing of this event has something to do with the busy holiday season - the Christmas parties, parades, the toy and gift advertisements, Santas at the mall, the plans for family gatherings and holiday vacations - a time that is family-focused, and can bring the absence of a child (or, in my case, a sibling) into sharper focus.  In the midst of all that, it seems a good time to pause, reflect, take stock of things that matter, let a light join many others in remembrance, and with the strength of that collective surge of support, go on through the holidays.

We'll light a candle for Derek, in gratitude for the light that he was and will always be in our lives, also remembering with a special prayer the many other moms and dads who are in this world without a child, brothers and sisters who have lost a comrade in life.  If you'd like to join in, just light a candle Sunday at 7:00 pm and be a part of the wave!  As it moves around the world, it is sure to be a spectacular show of light and love from heaven's view that no Disney parade or TSO concert can match!  

(hat tip to Deez Central for this original post.)

If you'll be participating in this simple gesture, we'd love to know about it.  Let us know who you'll be remembering with your candle. 

Teach Your Children Well

I spent many years as an elementary school teacher.
After putting in hours, days, months of imparting knowledge to these little ones, I can't tell you how appreciative I was when parents went the extra mile to reinforce concepts at home.  Conversely, it was so frustrating when parents left e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g up to me. 

Now, Sunday School operates in a different system altogether.  Unlike grade school, I feel as if I am/should be my child's primary teacher when it comes to our faith.  I trust Kendall's teachers, but I don't drop her off on Sunday mornings expecting her to glean her spiritual lesson for the week and "close the book" until the following Sunday.  I know far too many people- adults- that practice their Christian walk on a weekly-check-in basis.  You'll see them at church, but you'll never hear Jesus' name uttered in conversation thoughout the week.  (Well, you might...)

We want to model for our children what walking with Jesus daily looks like.  And bringing that down to a three-year-old's level of understanding is sometimes a challenge.  I try to make it a point to pray with her multiple times a day, not just at the dinner table, not just at bedtime.  Some days, like today, I fail miserably.  Lately, we've had problems with whining and moping, so quick prayers asking Jesus to "help change our attitude" have been teachable moments (ohhhh, Lawwwd...we've had a lot of these lately!).  In this Christmas season, spending time in the Word has been natural.  The Awana program at our church provides a more structured lesson midweek, and Kendall enjoys seeing her friends. 

When we started attending Bethel, we noticed that Kendall's Sunday School lessons were always summarized in a coloring page which she proudly awarded to us after church.  I began collecting them and assembled a binder full, which we read on a regular basis.  Not only does it display Kendall's artwork, but it continually reinforces what she knows about God.  We love it...and Kendall looks forward to adding a page in her book every week!

This mama is always looking for new ideas.  How are you helping your kiddos walk with Jesus daily?  Creative ideas? 

Scary Reindeer!

Last year, Kendall received a plush Rudolph doll. 
Well, it didn't go over so well.
She burst into tears every time she saw it.
I chalked it up to the two-year-old crazies and put it back in the box of decorations.

This year, we came across it as we were decorating the tree, and Kendall was pretty interested. 
"Great!  Last year was just a fluke", I thought. 
As the night wore on, her little imagination slowly broke her down.
Yes...this was the same scary reindeer that traumatized her last year, and she hadn't forgotten.

Now, poor Rudolph is again relegated to spending the Christmas season in hiding.
If, by chance, a certain little brother finds him in the toybox and sets him free, you'll find Kendall wincing and whining in the other room.
I'm interested to see if watching the Rudolph movie on TV will change her opinion of our resident reindeer.
For now, Rudolph better steer clear of this girl:

Our Nativity is Better Than Yours

Our toys often get mixed up.  I found all of the above friends hanging out with baby Jesus today.
Just in case you missed it, that IS a koala appearing with the angel.
Also, the lesser-famous attendees at the birth of Jesus:
The chimpanzee
The flamingo
The crossing guard (for all the flamingos, apparently)
The zookeeper
AND the small child in a wheelchair.
(Because the "good news of great joy shall be for ALL the people"...including the disabled.)

Oh, and our nativity has a ferris wheel.  So, yeah.  Best nativity ever.