One Year Later.

My life changed forever one year ago. I sat by my brother's bed as he left this world and was ushered into heaven. I experienced a depth of sorrow I had never known. For weeks I carried on daily business with a tear-stained face, and wondered if my tears would ever run out. We lost so much that day that it's hard to acknowledge the things we gained, but here's my attempt to process:

What I lost:
*The ability to hug him whenever I want.
*The opportunity to talk and spend time in his presence.
*His infectious laugh and sense of humor.
*My family as I knew it.
*A little bit of faith in medicine.
*A sense of security in my emotions.
*An uncle for my daughter.
*A sibling with whom I can share life.
*An unquestioned faith in God, especially as a Healer.
*Someone who shared my childhood memories.

What I gained:
*An angel.
*An incredible sense of pride.
*An admiration for his courageous spirit.
*An urgency to lean into God and his mysterious plan.
*Empathy for those who have lost loved ones.
*Friendships that manifested themselves in beautiful ways.
*Gratefulness for Jesus and His Church.
*A daily appreciation for life and health.
*A husband who proved "for better or for worse".
*A new enjoyment of U2's music. :)
*A new, authentic and raw relationship with my parents.
*A deep respect for the medical team that invested so much in this case.
*An awareness of my own mortality.
*Cherished memories, too numerous to count.
*A greater sensitivity to the Spirit in worship.
*Anticipation for the reunion that will someday occur in Heaven.

I miss Derek every day. And as life goes on, it seems to get easier...and harder. He continues to be an inspiration to me and many others. Today, in his honor, I'm surrounding myself with the people I love- enjoying the beauty of the world around me, cherishing every smile, laugh, tear and memory.

5 Weird Things People Say About My Child.

1. "Her head is so perfectly round!"
Yes, her head IS round- and perfectly so. However, I don't notice an abundance of cone-headed and amoebic shaped baby craniums wandering about the city, so the fact that this is the FIRST thing out of some people's mouths is a little mysterious to me. I am often at a loss of what to respond to this compliment.

2. "She's so alert."
I had never heard this observation before having a baby, but apparently it's a popular observation to make. It would be the perfect thing to say to a less-than-attractive baby about whom you can't find anything else to say. Is being awake an accomplishment? Yes, Kendall opens her eyelids and looks around...I have a child prodigy on my hands. :)

3. "Is it a boy or a girl? I can never tell these days."
It's true. With all the baby boys sporting pink jumpsuits and baby girls carrying blue blankies, it is a very confusing world. From now on, girls wear pink and boys wear blue. And if you see a baby with a pink shirt, pink pants, pink blankie and a bow in her hair, feel free to assume that she is, indeed, a girl. Observational skills cannot be underestimated. Oh, and thanks for referring to my baby as "IT"!

4. "Nine months? She's so big/small for her age."
Oh, really? And you are comparing her to...who? Your gargantuan nephew that you visited last week? The Cabbage Patch doll you have at home? Let's bust out the measuring tape, and you will see that Kendall can be classified as neither gargantuan nor petite, but sits right about 50th percentile across the board at this time. SHE is the standard by which you should be measuring OTHER babies, people!

5. "She's so adorable- she looks just like Chris!"
These two statements, independently, I'm liable to agree with. She is adorable. And, often, she does look like her daddy. But when made enthusiastically as one statement, I can't help but feel a little backhanded...as if they're saying "She's so adorable- she definitely doesn't look like you." Umm, thanks?

DC Wrap-Up

I was admittedly a little apprehensive about our trip to DC. Chris had a work conference, so Kendall and I would be hotel-ridden for the majority of the trip. Turns out that was NOT the case, and even if it were, I wouldn't have minded it. We had a sa-WEET hotel room (literally- at the Embassy Suites) in which Kendall could have her own room to sleep, thus eliminating my need to kick Chris repeatedly during the night for snoring. In addition, the seminars Chris attended ended up consuming only his mornings leaving all afternoon to sight-see.

We both mentioned that this was our favorite vacation to date, though we could have done without the excruciating heat and hysterical airplane meltdown by Miss K (she officially lost her "Best Baby Traveler" title on both to and from flights).

Here's a little looksie at our week!

On our first night, we had dinner with Chris' friend Kayla and her boyfriend, Alan. We went to Gordon Biersch- yum- just a short walk from our hotel.

We passed Ford's Theater on the way back to the hotel.

While Chris was in meetings, Kendall and I met my childhood friend, Emily, for a little Starbucks treat! She works just a few blocks from our hotel.

Our downtime was enjoyable, too...we camped out on our fluffy beds and watched some TV!

The NEWSEUM came highly recommended to us (thanks, Angela!) and was our favorite stop of the trip! Kendall was devouring all the information...literally.

Chris and I both tried our hand at reporting the news. I think I missed my calling :)

Also on display was the antenna from World Trade Tower 1, along with a variety of front page headlines from Sept 12th.

On Wednesday, my SoCal friends Eric and Ashley came from Baltimore to spend the day with us! We had a great time sightseeing with them and their two cutie-pies, Audrey and Elliot.

(With the Lapointes at the Washington Monument- note the two sleeping babies stowed away.)

Kendall promptly went to sleep before we hit all the big stops, thwarting all of our plans for family photos. Ohhhh wellll.

The totally-straight dads and their babies.

During Chris' Thursday morning classes, Kendall and I ventured to Georgetown for some girl time- shopping, Starbucks and cupcakes :) Our first stop was the acclaimed Georgetown Cupcake, of "DC Cupcakes" on TLC.

We took home the following yumminess: Chocolate Ganache, Chocolate Peanut Butter Swirl, Caramel Apple, and Pumpkin Spice. I KNOW, right!?!

On our final day, we visited Arlington National Cemetery, which was lovely despite the strenuous hilly stroller-pushing and ridiculous heat. We arrived at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier just in time for the changing of the guard ceremony, and Kendall kept silent- just as instructed :)


While there, we stopped to pay respects to family friend, Sam Huff, who died several years ago in Iraq. It was a sobering moment, and our hearts still ache for her family.

As the youngest female soldier to be buried at Arlington, her bio and uniform are on display in the "Women in Military Service Memorial".

We arrived at the reflecting pool just as the sun was setting, which made for the most amazing pictures.

Kendall at the World War II Memorial.

Parenting for Dummies.

I've had things fairly under control until now. I could sit relatively comfortably as she slowly moved from stage to stage. Now, all of a sudden, I feel like she is moving more rapidly than ever, and I'm running to keep up with HER. I find myself asking questions more often of myself:

Am I feeding her the right amount of formula daily?
Is she getting enough sleep?
Should I be introducing her to more solid foods?
Should I be trying to discourage her newfound "squawking"?
Am I spending enough time on the floor with her?
Should I be trying to help her crawl?

Arghhghhh! This is the first job I've had that doesn't have a job description- it all seems to be trial and error. Thank goodness for the internet that gives me some idea of what milestones should be approaching!

When I was a teacher, I placed a lot of importance on the first weeks of school. Establishing routines, correcting behaviors, setting the dynamic of the classroom all set me up for an enjoyable and rewarding school year. My approach to parenting is the same- I just don't want to miss an opportunity, and look back later thinking "I shoulda done that differently". However, I'm starting to think that's inevitable- at least on this first time around. ;)

Overhaulin'

No one likes change, especially me. But sometimes, we HAVE to change, whether we like it or not. This week, my automatic blog reader informed me it was shutting down at the end of the month. YIPES! I have over 50 blogs that I keep track of on a daily basis. So, I used this opportunity to clean out some of the lousy idle blogs I had littering my reader, and start fresh...which led to reformatting some of the features on my blog...which led to fiddling with my whole blog "look", and VOILE! A new blog title and everything.

After five years of the same blog, is it time for a change? Yes.
Am I happy with it? No.
Will I warm up to it? Probably.

Speaking of changes, Kendall is changing and growing at the speed of light. More blogness to come on that topic! And thank you, ever faithful reader, for being patient during my recent summer hiatus. I think the only thing that's slow around here lately is my brain.

Hangin' in my Crib.

Looks like Mommy and Daddy will soon be lowering the bottom of my crib...my big-girl antics are making them a little nervous!

Dang it, Charlie!

Hi all! We're back from our fantastical vacay in Washington, DC...pictures to come soon. In the meantime, here's a bit of jolliness to hold you over, if you missed it on YouTube the first time around. Check out the original video below, and the remixed version (which I can NOT get out of my head) below it. If we moved to London right now, do you think Kendall would pick up that sweet accent? :)
CHARLIE BIT ME


And CHARLIE BIT ME remixxxxxed