Christmas Letter 2013

Merry Christmas to our friends and family, far and near!

Many of you have been directed here for the latest news on our family.  Though you are welcome to read my backdated posts from the past year (all 12 of them....pathetic.), I'll give you a brief summary of how our 2013 went down.

This year has been relatively uneventful, and we like it that way!  In January, we brought Carter to Amplatz Children's Hospital once more for an evaluation of his eyes under anesthesia.  The surgeon greeted us with news we had been hoping to hear for a year... "His eyes look beautiful!  In fact, the optic nerves show no sign of ever having had Glaucoma."  DEEP EXHALE!  We are glad to put that chapter behind us and move cautiously forward, monitoring his eyes with a local doctor about 4 times a year.

In general, we are a pretty healthy bunch.  Last winter, however, obliterated our immune systems over and over again.  Viruses made their way through every one of us, and then came back around again.  The treacherous temps outside kept us indoors, and it was difficult on all of us!  When the snow lifted in MAY, so did our "winter plague" and we galloped happily and healthfully into summer.

Kendall began a dance class once a week through a local studio.  She is enjoying all the creative movement skills she's learning, but is very selective with her audience!  We're excited to see her perform at her recital in the spring.  She has also leveled up in her AWANA program through our church...she is now a Cubbie!  The AWANA program emphasizes scripture learning and memorization, so working on her verse every week has become a fun new challenge.  Her teachers say she is their best student :)  Kendall is capable of having long conversations with us now....chatty chatty!  Her nurturing side is put to good use on her little brother, as she teaches him ALL the songs and stories she is learning.  She is a natural teacher, if I do say so myself...

Carter is a love-bug!  His frequent kisses and hugs make my Mommy heart jump for joy every day.  He is quick to emulate ev-er-y-thing his sister says and does, which can be quite entertaining.  He also has some musical talent emerging...I can see worship leading in his future!  His favorite video to watch (and we watch it daily) is a worship video from His Little Feet, an international orphan choir.  The songs they sing overlap with those he hears at church, and he knows every word.  I know we are doing this parenting thing right when he wakes up singing "hallelujah"!  He is very interested in Daddy's guitar and likes to sit with Mommy at the piano.  He is sleeping much better these days, usually going 8 hours-plus in his crib at night (Mommy sings "Hallelujah" too!).  We just love that little guy!

Chris has continued his work with Sanford Orthopedics, and has been working under two surgeons, one of whom is his dad!  He enjoys his profession, some aspects of the job more than others.  In his free time, he has been doing his brother-in-law, Derek, proud by revisiting all seasons of 24 this year!  Chris also had the opportunity to golf at Hazeltine National Golf Club, a highlight of his summer.  He is excited about his newest toy, a n-e-w Nissan Maxima!  

I have taken on a few more piano students, totaling more than a half-dozen now.  Most are completely new to the instrument (cue:  "Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start...").  It's so fun watching them progress!  I've also been heavily involved with the worship ministries at our church, and will be taking on more responsibility in the coming year as I've agreed to lead worship once a month in addition to my current rotation. Chris and I have also teamed up with a few other couples for a Bible Study- we enjoy community and good food together!

We hit the road for several trips this year...with Carter being considered a "lap-baby" until age two, airline flight was somewhat cheaper.  Chris' family congregated in San Diego for a family reunion in June.  We all enjoyed the San Diego attractions (zoo, Legoland, Sea World, Coronado Island) and they helped me celebrate my 36th birthday with a lovely dinner.  We spent some time at "the lake", soaking in the sunshine much better than last year!  Our dear friends, the Corns, traveled all the way from California to enjoy the lake with us, too...we had a blast!  Chris and I were able to enjoy a kidless weekend getaway to Charlotte, NC, where we visited some fun friends and beautiful landscapes.  My Mom joined us for a trip to California where we helped celebrate the ministry of our dear friend and pastor, Jim Dunn, as he retired.  The trip was full of moments and memories we won't soon forget.

Our family continues to grow and change (not numerically....I'm not announcing anything here!), and we are excited to see what the year ahead has in store.  I am trying savor these days that are so fleeting, watching the little ones learn and wonder and love, memorizing how it feels to rock my baby boy to sleep or my little girl's sweet voice as she tells me "secrets."  We love celebrating little victories, and love it when Carter shouts, "I did it!"  We're still working on vegetables around here, but I'm choosing battles wisely.  ;-)

Have a happy holiday season, and please keep in touch with us during this New Year!
Jamie

My Little Turkey is Two

Gobble Gobble!

Happy Thanksgiving, all!
I am grateful for so many things, and though I would love to list them all, I fear that post would get too lengthy to enjoy.  So I'm going to concentrate this time on ONE very special blessing to me:

Carter Paul Stavenger, whose 2nd birthday just happens to be TODAY!

Due ON Thanksgiving in 2011, that little turkey decided to make me wait a full five days more before making his appearance at a whopping 9 lbs 12 oz.

He came into the world crying, and seemingly didn't STOP crying for a good 6 months.  (He did, but my memory has logged that time period as one lonnnnnnng, painful scream).  Of course, we didn't realize until month three that he was in a great deal of pain due to Congenital Pediatric Glaucoma.  After a series of surgeries and treatments, his pain was lessened and a long physical and emotional recovery for us all ensued.

I'm kind of embarrassed to say that while I loved Carter,  I had a hard time liking him.  He sucked up every ounce of energy I had, with nothing in return.  I held him for virtually an entire year and I was exhausted.  I felt depleted, not just as a mommy, but as a person.  Friends drifted away because I couldn't dedicate time to them.  And I didn't see any END to the misery...just phase after unpleasant phase, each with its own set of challenges.

And then...

We altered his diet a bit, and he started sleeping through the night!  Not consistently, but enough that I could get a few hours here and there.  It was improvement!  His eyes began to register normal pressures, and we could tell he wasn't in pain any longer.  He started wearing some darling little glasses and the "how did you know he needed glasses?" question became a regular part of my life.  I started looking at him through non-sleep-deprived glasses myself, and began to enjoy being with him for the first time.

And now as he turns two, God is rewarding me in full for the investment of love I poured into him as a newborn.  He has done what I didn't think was possible- surpassed the cuddliness of his sister!  My frequent kisses and snuggles are surely his way of saying "thank you, Mommy".  My heart is full.

If I could freeze time, I would.  This age is so precious.  So curious, so innocent, so pure and sweet.  Though he's not a baby anymore, he will ALWAYS be my baby.  Happy, happy birthday to Mommy's little boy. 

Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.  -Philippians 1:3

My Brain Hurts.

I was really smart back in college.

Seriously.  I look at old college notebooks and think, "Wow.  I used to know all this stuff."

One of the classes that I took was an Elementary Mathematics course.  Sounds like cake, right?  It was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life.  The bulk of the course addressed mathematical proofs, deductive arguments for mathematical statements.  For example, do two even numbers always add up to an even number?  If so, PROVE IT.  Oh, and you're not allowed to use numbers.  It's breaking concrete concepts into their simplest abstract terms, in which "simplest" involved a couple reams of paper.  It was awful.  I don't miss college at ALL.

I live with a three year old.  And with that being said, some days I feel like I'm living in that math class.  I wish I could record five minutes of my life.  (Parents of three-year-olds already know how this video would play out.)  In that five minutes, you would hear every form of question possible....twice:  Who, what, when, where, how, could I, may I, can we, will we, are there, why, Why, WHYYY??! 

The constant barrage of questions (cute, at first, then progressively painful) has me on my toes ALL DAY.  My goal with every answer: to minimize the amount of follow-up questions that are sure to follow.  I've learned from the early days of this curiosity surfacing that ONE question can become a twenty-minute conversation.  So, when the questions come, my brain attempts to quickly process the simplest and most concrete answer possible.  I've patted myself on the back a few times, thinking there is NO POSSIBLE WAY she could ask another question after THAT brilliant answer.  Wrong.  To a three-year-old dead-set on asking a question, ANY question, "WHY?" will always work. 

Kendall and Carter were particularly unruly yesterday, so I did what any Mom-on-the-fringe would do:  strapped them into their carseats and headed to Starbucks.  As expected, I got my ten minute break from their sibling harassment.  What I didn't expect was ten SOLID MINUTES of questions from the backseat.  After receiving my coffee from the barista in the drive-thru, the questions continued. 
"Mommy, why did the man not say hi to me?" "He was busy, honey."
"Oh, but did he see me?" "I don't think so."
"Mommy, why couldn't he see me?" "He was helping other people, sweetie."
(See how polite and patient I'm being??)
"Oh.  But are the other people getting coffee?"
"Yes, this is a coffee store."
"Mommy, why are we going this way?"
"Because this is the way home, Kendall."
"Oh.  But why are we going home?"
 (Beware:  Mommy loses her cool here...)
"KENDALL!!  STOP ASKING MOMMY QUESTIONS PLEASE!"

"Oh.  But, why?"
"Why Mommy?  Why do you want me to stop asking you questions?"

Face-palm.

The Art of Shutting Up.

Years ago, Dr. Gary Smalley and Dr. John Trent developed a personality test that separated people into one of four categories:  Lions, Otters, Beavers and Golden Retrievers.  If you'd like to take the test yourself, you can do so here. 

I'll tell you my results in just a moment, but if you know me, you've probably already guessed. :-)

Recently, I was participating in a ministry event as a part of a team.  Everything seemed to be going well for the most part, and the leader seemed happy with what was happening.  But I wasn't.  During several preparation times, I let my opinions fester without verbalizing them.  After the event, I gave the leader my opinion....all of it.  I wasn't rude, and the leader received my strong opinions with graciousness and tact, but still I had an aching in my conscience for the remaining week of which I couldn't rid myself. 

People, I am a LION.
There's not even a close second.
It's no secret that I prefer decision-making over brainstorming, that I am comfortable in positions of leadership, that I am competitive and strive to be the best in everything I do.  The problem with lions is that their aggressive motivation often bleeds into the space where otters, beavers and golden retrievers live...and the result is not always pretty.  I'm certainly no exception.

The problem with the above scenario is that I used my lion-prowess in a situation where God had appointed someone ELSE (gasp!) to lead.  It's a rare gift for me to be a participant in such an event...to set aside the stress and intensity that comes with leading, to take a backseat and enjoy using my skill set.  BUT, this is not a natural place for me to be.  And while some find the backseat to be an enjoyable ride, I find myself fighting my nature to be submissive and QUIET. 

It was quite a butt-kicking from the Holy Spirit- conviction that I've been more attentive to in the past couple of weeks.  I posted a picture of a lion cub above for two reasons:  1) adult lions roaring are just icky to look at, and 2) I am cognizant that my two little lion cubs will learn BAD lion habits if I don't keep myself in check! 

There are many traits of "lions" that make them positive assets to those around them.  But lions are likely the most guilty of being overbearing and opinionated.  I have control over which qualities will define me, and am fully aware that God didn't make me a "lion" to embody the latter.  In fact, God has posted little reminders throughout his Word specifically for us lions.  My favorite as of late occurs in 1 Peter 5:5:

In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,

“God opposes the proud
    but shows favor to the humble.”

Perhaps you, too, are a lion whose roar needs to be tamed.  Beautiful things happen when others are given the chance to lead without unsolicited interruption from the lion's den.  I want to be someone who encourages, who empowers, who remembers that Jesus was both lion and lamb.

How To Fly Like A Boss...With Toddlers.

After Kendall was born, we took nearly a dozen round-trip flights before she turned ONE.  Carter has not been quite so fortunate, but has logged a good deal of flight time as a lap-baby (after age two, I foresee our air travel diminishing somewhat.  Ka-ching Ka-ching!).

With the exception of one disastrous flight from Chicago to DC, we've never had a total plane meltdown and have gleaned, for the most part, satisfactory comments from those sitting around us.

Every compliment our kids receive is a direct reflection of our PLANNING and HARD WORK.
The fact is, with littles like ours, successful flying is a strategic undertaking of massive proportions.  And for my hours of stressing every minute of the travel day in advance, I am generally rewarded as negative attention is directed at children that are NOT mine.

I am often asked by newer parents, or those less familiar with the friendly skies, about the "dos and don'ts" of air travel in regard to children.  Here, my friends, is how to enjoy your travel:

1)  Plan your flight times strategically.  If you can avoid waking your kids up at 4:30 a.m. to head to the airport or returning far past bedtime, it will be advantageous to your (and their) sanity.  Planning flight times that coincide with scheduled naptimes, for example, give you a perfect opportunity for on-flight sleep (which will be the happiest scenario for you, guaranteed) or a time of day at which they are generally happy.  With that being said, don't plan a red-eye flight from Hawaii to CA and expect that they'll sleep the whole time.  They'll sleep SOME...and then the pressure is REALLY on to keep them quiet!

This is the best case scenario for all flights!

2)  Ask about family lines at Security Gates.  This one is hit-or-miss, but at several airports we have been ushered past LONG lines because we have a stroller and kids in tow (most recently SFO).  This probably, and justly, pisses a lot of other passengers off, but whatev.  ;-)  If they don't direct you to a separate line automatically, it doesn't hurt to ask! 


3)  Bring a BAG of TRICKS.  I can almost guarantee that if you pop their FAVORITE toy into the diaper bag, they will have NO interest in it come time for distraction.  Travel is a good time for NEW toys...they'll buy you at least five minutes :)  iPads and DVD players are only as good as your kids' attention span (mine have, um, none.) AND will bum your kids out when you have to turn them off for take-off and landing.  (Crossing fingers the electronics rumor is true and this will no longer happen!)

4)  Eat on the plane.  Meals and snacks both kill time and keep kids stationary.  If possible, save meals for the plane.  Keep kids WELL fed...snacks here, snacks there (use them as rewards wisely!).  Because we have traveled frequently, I can tell you that when it comes to kids, security tends to be very lenient.  Pop some juice boxes/bottles in a gallon bag- as long as you identify it at security, it should be cleared without incident.  Breast-feeding moms have a lot of leeway here.

5)  Forget about coffee or reading.  Your primary focus is your children.  Wanna finish that novel that's been sitting on your bedtable over a Starbucks Mocha?  FORGET IT (especially if you have a lap baby).  If you're traveling sans children, have at it.  But toddlers in a new environment need constant monitoring.  Their feet are just long enough to kick the seat in front of them, their fingers are fiddling with fold-down trays and window shades...and for the duration of the flight, they should have your full attention.  (Other passengers can easily identify parents who have "checked out".)

6)  Use your layovers wisely!  Whether you have an hour or five to kill, this is the only opportunity your kids will have to burn energy.  Don't be concerned about a little game of tag at the gate or a hundred laps on the moving walkway!  The pessimistic onlookers traveling with you will thank you when your kids drop to sleep on the plane.    And, as an aside, it takes some creativity nowadays to occupy kids for extended periods of time at airports...most have removed their playgrounds for liability purposes (rolls eyes, deep exhale...).

7)  Keep your children physically comfortable.  Airplanes can run sweltering hot or freezing cold...there seems to be no in-between here.  Dress them in layers...top layer can be used as a pillow if needed.  Have a supply of Children's Tylenol on hand (this is another item that should be identified at security).  And, for young children, give them liquids upon take-off and landing.  Babies don't naturally know how to pop their ears which causes a great deal of distress.  Swallowing can assist in their relief.  (For toddlers, consider suckers or juice as well.)

8)  DON'T let your children know that walking the aisles is an option!  I can't stress this one enough.  If you allow them that freedom once, they'll be clamoring for the aisles when they're tired of sitting.  Carry them to the bathroom if necessary, and even tell them that it is against "the rules" for them to get out of their seat.  It only takes ONE time for this rule to go down the toilet for you.  Kids aren't dumb...they remember...

Lastly, and probably the most important rule of all:

9)  KIDS WILL BE KIDS.  You may abide by all of the above, and they'll still go psycho on you.  This is the toddler way.  Sometimes the best you can do is to apologize to those around you, grit your teeth and count the minutes until that plane hits the ground (my method of coping is crying actual tears).  Your children won't always meet your expectations, and grace won't always be readily extended to you.  But if you put in the effort and make it a priority, chances are you will be rewarded with a kind word from the strangers behind you, or a compliment from the flight attendants.  And the greatest reward is the pride you'll have in your kids (and yourself) at the end of your travel day.

 Happy Flying!

Additional suggestions?  Learned a few lessons yourselves?  Leave a comment and let us know!

35 Things I Love about my Brother...on his 35th Birthday

I am celebrating today,
celebrating the day I became a big sister 35 years ago.
(Yes...your math is correct.  That makes me older than 35.  Hushyourmouth.)

In honor of Derek's 35th birthday, here are 35 of my favorite things about my bro.

(cracks knuckles, deep exhale....)


1.  He had wicked awesome Ping-Pong skills...skills that I have always failed to live up to, bringing shame upon my family.  Oh well.

Ping-pong....serious business!

2.  He trusted me with his wardrobe, allowing me to "make him over" several times in his adulthood.  It made Christmas shopping for him easy.

The last outfit I gave him...on his 31st birthday.

3.  He was my go-to movie critic.  Since he saw seemingly EVERY movie in the theater, I could always ask for a thumbs-up or thumbs down.

4.  He made me LAUUUUGH.  He was funny in a non-obvious way.  But if I was paying attention, he could have me in stitches on the floor.

5.  We both learned American Sign Language and used it to talk about our parents' Christmas gifts...right in front of them.  They'd really get steamed.  We'd laugh.

6.  He was generous with his time.  No one worked harder, fulfilling his volunteer duties at church and beyond joyfully...even if he had worked a shift all night.

7.  He was generous with his money.  He once bought me lunch after church, and I never paid him back...it became a joke between us, but he wouldn't have accepted it, even if I tried.

8.  He was generous with gifts.  Ten times he showed up at my apartment with a new season of F.R.I.E.N.D.S on DVD, just to see my excitement and spend some time with me.  It was his love language.

9.  He was a fierce competitor at Balloon Volleyball in our living room.  It was grade school, people.

10.  He kept memories fresh for me, some of which I had completely forgotten and still don't recall.  I miss those the most.

11.  He had this inherent genius on the computer.  Back when the internet went skaweeeereeerrrrt, he was typing in complex codes to black screens and blowing my mind.  

12.  We shared a love of television....24, ER, American Idol, The Office.  It made good fodder for conversation when we lived far away from each other.

13.  He had a crazy high pain tolerance.  IF he complained about not feeling well, he REALLY wasn't feeling well.  He internalized much of his discomfort, even at the end of his life.  

Chemo with a smile :)

14.  He could put me in my place.  If I was getting too rowdy during a sound check, my mic would suddenly be dead... Sound people have a lot of power that way.

15.  We shared a Micro-Machines collection and raced them on our piano bench.  That bench is now in my home, and those memories make me smile.

16.  He stuck to his guns.  I never ever ever ever ever heard Derek sing a note.  And I tried.  Tried to trick him into it, begged and pleaded...nope.  He was not going to do it.

17.  Derek loved surprising people with magic tricks.  His card tricks would have people floored.  As kids, we would be so stoked to watch the David Copperfield illusion specials...and we attended one of his shows.  Derek bought my ticket, of course.

18.  Determination.  He had to work harder than most people to overcome some physical obstacles and learning challenges.  He was successful in obtaining his degrees and beginning his chosen career.

Graduating from CSU Stanislaus with a BA in Criminal Justice

19.  He had an insane DVD collection.  But not because he loved DVDs.  He wanted his friends to be able to borrow them from him.  Again, a love language.

20.  He took U2 fandom to the next level, attending multiple concert tours, acquiring rare memorabilia and owning every EP and album they made.  Everyone who knew him knew he loved U2.  

21.  Back in the days of Napster, I could give Derek a list of songs I loved, and he would burn me a CD.  Even after Napster caved, he still found ways to make CDs for me, even if it cost him money (it usually didn't).  I miss that.

22.  He was the self-designated gift-distributor on Christmas morning.  First to rise, he would wake me up to open stockings well before our parents knew we were up.  Christmas is a sweet memory for me. 

23.  He was a loyal friend.  I believe he let one of his friends use his car for a week, even though it was an inconvenience for him.  The best kind of friend.

24.  He was a loyal teammate.  The guy drank ipecac in order to leave work for a softball game...and consequently played the game sick-as-a-dog.  Hey....I didn't say he was the brightest.

25.  He was a cool brother-in-law.  Chris enjoyed talking Fantasy Football and other things with him.  I wish they had more time together.

26.  He got to share in the excitement of our baby and was thrilled to become an uncle!  I shared with him the name we had chosen for our baby first.  He approved.  I know he is Kendall's special angel.

Uncle Derek feeling Kendall kicking at 6 months.

 27.  I've never been cool enough to have nicknames.  He was so cool, he had many.  Deez.  Dizzle.  El Nino.  Big D.  And, the one that started it all....De-de (compliments of his big sis at 3 yrs.)

Dizzle behind the sound board at CrossWalk

28.  I love the many ways I could easily make him feel super awkward.  As a big sister, it was my job.

29.  His laugh.  Oh, I miss his laugh.  It was a kind-of breathy exhale, followed by putting his hand up to his mouth as if he was going to spit out water.  Uncontrollable and natural.  Loved it.

30.  Patience.  I watched him in several specific scenarios exhibit extraordinary patience (the kind of which I couldn't conceive).  It worked out sometimes, and other times it didn't.  But it was a virtue of his that I admired a great deal.

31.  Speaking of 31...his dislike of ice-cream followed him through life.  Which meant, of course, more for me :)

32.  He had a gentle way with children.  Growing up in a day-care household, kids were always around.  In  adulthood, after Derek would come home from a work shift, he was quick to greet and often play with the kids.  They loved him.

The Day Care littles having a good time with Derek.

33.  I get my competitive nature from growing up playing games against this guy.  From our primitive beginnings playing Hungry, Hungry Hippos to more "sophisticated" games like Backgammon, a good challenge satiated both of our appetites.  Our annual Backgammon Tournament carries on this memory.

34.  He loved our dogs.  The only attention they really knew was Derek's frequent visits with them in the backyard.  He was heartbroken when we lost them. 

35.  Because he was a believer in Jesus Christ, I get to be with him again someday.  I'm so excited!  Save me a place next to you, Deez...

Mother, May I?

Maybe it's just at our house, but our little three-year-old has had a little problem with whining.
Mommmmmy, I WANT some juicy!
Mommmmmy, I WANT to get down!
Mommmmmy, I WANT more milllllllk!

And, every time, Mommy responds with...PLEASE ASK POLITELY.
Well, the three-year-old isn't catching on, and Mommy is tired of saying it.
So, we're trying a new tactic.

We have two signs now on our refrigerator door: 
One with a smiley face, and one with a sad face.
Now, all Mommy has to do is point to the sad face when the three-year-old forgets her manners.
This reminder should prompt her to use her "polite words", and Mommy's finger will in turn move to the happy face. 

Mommy knows, from years in front of a classroom, that if a behavior isn't changing, you change the approach.  Mommy and Daddy modeled this new strategy, and the three-year-old was VERY interested.  It's a stepping stone to self-initiation. 

The three-year-old may think this is a game, but little does she know how persistent Mommy can be when it comes to manners.  She WILL ask for things politely...hopefully this little experiment speeds up our success!

That Song in my Head

Music moves me.
OR, more accurately,
GOD moves me....through music.

Some people feel closest to God sitting in the middle of a forest or on a mountain.  Those places are nice, but I get totally distracted by the bugs.  Then I start thinking, "WHY God, why make such a beautiful place and mess it up with bugs?!"  So, yeah.  I'm not a great naturalist in that respect.

And I'm not great at meditation, either.  There's the "mom-my....Mom-my....MOM-MMMY!!" interruption, but even before children, meditation was hard for me.  I do it because the Bible clearly tells us to do so (Matthew 6:6, Mark 1:35, etc...), but it is HARRRD.

God speaks to me (or, rather sings to me) most clearly through song.  My approach to worship music as I listen is to disregard the artist.  My personal preference for voice or style can get in the way of the message.  When I let the LYRICS take center stage, powerful stuff happens.

--------------
I remember the song Captivated (Vicky Beeching) took over my mind as I walked through the impressive, marble-laden Mosque in Casablanca, Morocco.  "No other could ever be as beautiful...", God said to me.

I sang with passion the song Mighty to Save (Hillsong United) as my brother was fighting for life, and with renewed passion after he left us.  "I rose and conquered the grave...." said my Lord, assuring me I'll be reunited with him one day.

I watched through tears as an orphan from the Children of the World choir sang He Knows My Name (Tommy Walker).  God said, "You have a Father...I'll never leave you, no matter where you go."

I was a block away from my apartment complex years ago when I had to pull the car over, overcome with emotion listening to Chris Rice's song Come to Jesus.  Still evokes tears EVERY time I hear it- so rich with meaning that spans so many of my life experiences. 

I followed God's nudging when I left Stockton to move to Southern California.  It was hard to leave my comfortable life, and when I fell in to bouts of stubborn doubt, Breakaway (Kelly Clarkson) always seemed to pop up on the radio playlist.  (Did you know God can speak through "secular" music?!  GASP!)

 "Holy Holy Holy is the Lord God Almighty, who Was and Is and Is to come..." sends chills through my body when I think about the scope of creation- in Heaven and on Earth- that is singing the same song (Revelation 4:8).  When I sing Revelation Song (Kari Jobe), I am mindful that those moments are something I share with my brother, who happens to have a much better view of the King of Kings than I do at the present time.  It connects me to my past and my future.

--------------
When that "random" song pops into my head or into the worship set list on Sunday, I can't help but think that God has something to say to me...or you.  Sometimes I get to be the musical catalyst, and that is a gift in itself.  Take another listen to that song that isn't your favorite on Sunday morning, or the Chris Tomlin hit that's on the airwaves for the hundredth time today- perhaps something special awaits you.

Taking Care of the Pearly Whites

Carter sprouted four teeth at 10 months old.  Two on top, two on the bottom.
Now, at 19 months old, those four teeth are FINALLY getting some company in the form of molars!
Carter is already learning about good oral hygiene.  We let him brush his own teeth before we help and the result is...well, comical.  :)

Blog Woes

I haven't been a diligent blogger lately.

Oh, you noticed?  :-/

I'll make another embarrassing confession:  I haven't been reading many blogs, either.

But I'll tell you what makes me feel slightly better about my lack of blogosphere activity... YOU  haven't been blogging either!

That's right...YOU. 
I, along with hundreds of thousands of others, am having to make the tedious transition away from Google Reader (it goes dark on July 1).  As I've been taking inventory of the 65 blogs I follow,  I've become sadly aware of how many favorites have been abandoned. 

So, it's time to do some purging, and some freshening up, too.

If the date of your last blog post ends with "2011," you will probably disappear from my reader list.  Maybe that doesn't make you sad.  But I'll be wiping tears away with every push of the "delete" button.  (sniff...sniff) 

MAYBE there's hope!  MAYBE your next blog post is just around the corner, and a plea to SAVE your feed is in order!  Well, I'm all ears.  Eyes.  Whatever.  Go.

lianadickson.wordpress.com ....You were one of my favorites.  I've grieved your blog since your last post on April 5, 2010.  PLEASE tell me your new life adventure will produce some great blog fodder!!
deborahdanielle.blogspot.com... Sure, the subtitle of your blog reads: "I'm not very reliable with this blog.  Don't get too excited."  But your unhealthy obsession with Kelly Clarkson makes me feel more normal.  I need your blog in my life.
redmollycooks.wordpress.com... your humorous spin on recipe writing is just as savory as the recipes themselves.  I know you're very busy writing trivia questions and updating your Facebook status, but I miss the culinary inspiration.
eskimomomma.blogspot.com... I last heard from you on June 19, 2012.  Your manner of honest writing is always refreshing and, frankly, I just like keeping tabs on you from across the state!  I hope you find some inspiration to get eskimomomma back up and running!
alberico.net...I need more pictures of your cutie-patootie in his glasses!!  It's been TWO YEARS since you posted last!!
sluderfamily.blogspot.com...The "royal couple" is now about to have their first baby, and your last post was the day of their wedding.  There are SO many reasons I want your blog to continue... ;-)
ibby66.wordpress.com...Your writing always makes me so proud!  I knew you were a smart cookie when you brought C.S. Lewis to read in Second Grade.  I hope that summer vacation will free up some time for you to write!

And, I'm just going to throw this out there....HEIDI SNAVELY, you need to write a blog.  The end.

Alright, enough pleading from me. 
I expect my blogroll will be drastically reduced in the days to come, which means I have room for GREAT blogs to read!  Do you know of any must-read blogs?  What are your favorites? 

Our Daddy is the Best!

Our Daddy is the best.

He makes us giggle.

He puts our blankies under his shirt to make his tummy look big.

He gives big strong hugs.

He can eat his dinner REALLY fast! 

Our Daddy helps people at his job.

He is always excited to see us when he comes home from work.

Sometimes he takes us out for ice cream!

Our Daddy builds forts when it's too cold to play outside.

And he helps us on the playground when the sun is out!

Our Daddy teaches us about Jesus;

How to be kind.

How to share.

How to show love.

We know our Daddy loves us because he tells us every day.

 And we love him, too...

to the moon and back and back and back and back....

 HAPPY DADDY'S DAY to our favorite DADDY!!

(Note from the author:  I promise to post another entry before Mother's Day rolls around again...)

A Mother's Love

A Mother's Love

There are times when only a mother's love
Can understand our tears,
Can soothe our disappoints
And calm all of our fears. 

There are times when only a mother's love
Can share the joy we feel
When something we've dreamed about
Quite suddenly is real. 

There are times when only a mother's faith
Can help us on life's way
And inspire in us the confidence
We need from day to day. 

For a mother's heart and a mother's faith
And a mother's steadfast love
Were fashioned by the angels
And sent from God above.

-Author unknown

A Whole New World

THE SNOW IS GONE.

Hal-le-freaking-lujah!

The last couple days have reminded us what spring should feel like, and we've taken advantage of the warm sunshine and newly uncovered grass.  The kids can't get enough of it.  And it feels good to say KIDS, not kid.

You might remember our problems with the outdoors last year at this time.
Kendall was practically clawing holes through the screen door while we were cooped up with an extremely light-sensitive baby.  It wasn't fun....for anybody.

Here are some pictures of Carter from last summer-- a rare find, since he wasn't outdoors very often:

 Above:  We had friends over for a 4th of July bbq...but it was a huge bummer because we couldn't all be with our company at the same time.  Someone had to be tending to Carter inside.  This face would precede fits of screaming.

 Above:  Our lake reunion...pretty typical of all our family pictures last year.  Carter buried his face into my shoulder as far as it would go.

Above:  Carter's first time on our swingset (at the very end of summer).  He enjoyed the swing- I could tell- but hardly opened his eyes.

Fast forward to this week:  I took Carter out on our playground for the first time this year.  I don't think I'll ever forget his squeals of excitement.  I placed him on the platform....he stood completely still....and then started giggling.  And giggling.  Then laughing....hysterically.  His feet started moving and marching as quickly as his chuckles, and my mommy heart laughed along with him.  THIS is how childhood should be.  I have a feeling Carter will love and appreciate being outside more than others...I know I will, on his behalf.

Marriage is a Carnival. Or Something Like That.

We booked it months ago.

A Carnival cruise.  A celebration, five year of marital bliss.  Sunshine, beaches, food, fun....all systems "go" for amazingness.

And then, a cruise ship stalls on the water, a whirlwind of bad press for Carnival.
Then, another ship breaks down.  And another.
Conversations about our impending trip began to include the phrase "you didn't book on Carnival, did you?"  Yes.  Yes we did.  Before any of their mess erupted.

But that mess hasn't derailed our plans.  We're crossing fingers that Carnival will go over and above to assure confidence amongst their guests.  It's gonna be great.  Heck, our ship's name is Victory!

I think this planning experience has been a fitting representation of our first five years of marriage, actually.  Great expectations, nothing can go wrong.

And then, heartache.  Grief.  Confusion.  Dependency on each other, dependency on the Lord.  When we said our vows, we had no idea what kind of messiness would interrupt our lives.  We have faced more mess than the average newlyweds.

But it hasn't derailed us.  In fact, as trials tend to do, it has refined our relationship in ways I couldn't have imagined would have been possible...ways The Lord was working for "good" that I just couldn't see in the midst of such tragedy.  What doesn't kill you makes you stronger- right, Kelly Clarkson?

So, Bon Voyage, friends.  We are cruising into our next five years with a great deal of  experience behind us...and the confidence that whatever may come our way, well, we already have "Victory" over it!

P.S. I forgot to bring my swimsuit.  Sigh....

No Naps In Heaven.

Something pretty intense happens when one participates in leading a worship service.

When you know that GOD is empowering you to do what you do, it's quite humbling.
It's thrilling to be a part of the Holy Spirit's energy moving within our collective worship time.
There is camaraderie with fellow musicians, and unity is championed.
AND, it is personally gratifying to know that God is affirming you as you use your gifts appropriately for His Kingdom.

It's, like, wow.  Glimpses of Heaven.

I often leave church on a high.  I sing all the way home.  I reflect on the morning.  I thank God for allowing me to serve in the way I do. 

Then, I CRASH.  And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who experiences this massive wave of exhaustion after intensely engaging in worship.

Because not only is worship leading thrilling, it is also a massive sacrifice of energy.  It's an investment of time, and as artists, we pour our heart and soul into our worship gatherings.


It's the culmination of days/weeks of practice.
It means early morning and late night rehearsals.
It means exerting a crazy amount of energy.
It can literally be painful as shoulders, fingers, feet take an extra beating.
And, as I've experienced, the enemy tends to fight hard against those serving Him in any capacity.

As I was hardly able to move from exhaustion after such a morning recently, I was considering Heaven and what worship must be in the presence of God.  Um, intense much?  Much more than 5 songs on a Sunday morning, anyway.

How exhausting, right?!  Surely there are breaks for those gathered around the throne to rest intermittently...

I can't even wrap my limited brain around the idea of a body that doesn't grow weary.
That doesn't have the physical limitations that we do.
That doesn't need a NAP after worship.

Worship with no "after"...just WORSHIP.  All day.  Every day.  Forever.

It's gonna be incredible.
On this earth, we will grow tired and weary...especially if we're doing it right- worship leaders and worshipers alike.  To engage heart, mind, body, soul is intense, but satisfying.  It's the ONLY way we can live the way God created us to live- in communion with Him, surrendered lives postured to praise.

And it's okay to take a nap, too.  :)

This Post Has a Point, I Promise.

When Chris and I were dating long-distance, the two-hour time difference we experienced really made scheduling phone calls a challenge.  By the time I woke up, Chris was already at work.  By the time he was done for the day, I still had two or three hours left.  With multiple evening commitments on my end during the week, often my only opportunity to really "talk" with him was later in the evening before my bedtime (after Chris had already fallen asleep).  Conversations went something like this...

Me:  Hi honey!
Chris: (groggy and quiet)  Heeyyyyyyy.
Me:  How was your day??
Chris:  (still groggy) Goooooooood.
Me:  Sorry to call so late, I was at rehearsal.
Chris:  (as if stretching simulaneously)  Thaaaaat's okaaaaay.
Me:  What did you do tonight?
Chris:  (silence)
Me:  Chris?
Chris:  Huh?
Me:  What did you do tonight?
Chris: (yawns) nothin.
Me:  Do you want to go back to sleep?
Chris:  Mmmmmm...zzzzzzzz.

I learned pretty quickly that it's completely useless talking to Chris in his sleepy state.  SO, we switched our phone call agenda to a Chris-will-call-Jamie-on-his-way-to-work-at-4:30am-her-time plan.  I'm much more coherent in that kind of situation.

I don't know why I forgot all of this last night when I waited up till midnight to sing "Happy Birthday" to my sweet husband.   Because when I was done singing sweet nothings in his ear, he grunted and continued to snore.  FAIL.

*****
Our daughter Kendall has had some trouble....ummm....pooping.  She does "potty" like a boss.  But when a Number #2 is looming, her routine has become whining frantically as she holds it in for two days amidst multiple false alarm trips to the toilet. 

Such was the case yesterday as she threw herself around hysterically, complaining of tummyaches and refusal to "push one out".  This scenario makes everyone in our household frustrated and anxious to see her JUST GET IT DONE.

Off the cuff, Chris told Kendall that it would be a great birthday present for him if she would just do her POOPY in the potty.  Something about that statement must have been the incentive she needed, because ten minutes later, she was doing her business.

"DADDY!!  I HAVE A 'PRIZE FOR YOU!"
"I WENT POOPY IN THE POTTY!"

Me:  Hey Chris...you should come see Kendall's birthday present to you!!  hahahahaha :)

I'm still figuring out how to wrap that sucka.  :-P

*****

All of that to say:  we may not be eloquent, but we want to wish a great husband, daddy, friend a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY in our own special way.  We love you!!

Resurrection

Res-ur-rec-tion  (n.)

1. The act of rising from the dead or returning to life.

2. The state of one who has returned to life.

3. The act of bringing back to practice, notice, or use; revival.

 

This day is a celebration of resurrection- that of the LIVING CHRIST, who conquered the grave and shattered the darkness, affording me an ETERNAL life with Him.  

 

This is a beautiful time of year.  In some places, green plants are bursting up from the ground, some even sprouting bits of color.  Here in North Dakota, we don't get to enjoy traditional spring goodness;  Sundresses are replaced with closed-toed shoes and warm jackets, Easter eggs will be found in houseplants rather than hidden in grass, and our Easter bunny will have to sludge through the remaining two feet of snow in our yard.

But somewhere under that blanket of white is the promise of green.  

New life.  Resurrection.

It's coming.  In fact, as I type, the sun is beating down and our snow drifts are getting smaller.

I'm acutely aware of so many things in my life that need constant resurrection.

Sometimes it's as simple as the ability to get out of bed in the morning.  After a bad night with the kids (and both have had their issues lately), I physically need an infusion of energy, attitude, LIFE.  I pray often for this...morning, nighttime, and all the time in between.  Jesus, give me NEW LIFE today.

Sometimes it's a freshening up of things that have become stagnant.  Marriage, motherhood, worship, wardrobe...big things, little things.  A romantic date night, a fun art activity for the kids on a cold day, playing an old favorite song a new way, buying a new pair of jeans... make a little effort and the effects are great.

Reconnecting myself to my own health has been a much needed resurrection in my life.  When I decided to institute some self-control in order to restore self-esteem I've gradually lost over the years, the outcome was drastic.  20 pounds out the door in almost four months will do HUGE things for a positive spirit!

Most importantly, I need a daily resurrection of my connection to God.  I pray for opportunities, quiet moments in which I can invest in that imperative relationship.  I allow too many distractions to infiltrate my life, things that deaden my ears to his voice and blind me from seeing his work in my life. 

As I write this, I am praying for you who is reading...may you experience resurrection today wherever you may need it the most.  And, above all, may you know personally the NEW LIFE that comes from the resurrection of Jesus Christ. 

Happy Easter to you and yours!

I'm Baaaaaack!

Thank you!

I've received messages in various ways from over a dozen of you, expressing....well, concern for me and lamenting the lack of posting on the 'ol blog.  I've thought about you.  I really have.

Me:  I should blog today.
Bed:  You are getting sleeeeeepy...very sleeeeepy.
Me:  (Yawn.)  Maybe later.

Me:  Whew- a few extra minutes while the kids nap.  (Opens blogger...)
Carter:  WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Me: (sneaks up to computer for a few minutes)
Husband:  HUNNY!  I'm home!  What's the plan for dinner??

Me:  Here, sweeties...play with these toys while mommy does the computer.
Kendall:  But MOMMMMY!  I want to play MY GAMES on the 'PUTERRRR!

Me:  Let's try this again...
Phone:  BZZZZZ!  BZZZZZ!  BZZZZZZ!
Me:  Hello?  Oh HI!  Yes, I have time to talk...

Me:  Finnnnaaaally, kids are in bed.  Where was I?  Oh yeah...Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Truly, I've had a half-finished blog post for two months...now it needs an overhaul because it's outdated.  I'll get on that.  But at this time, I just wanted to let you know that I'm alive, I'm okay, and I'm slowly regaining some motivation for getting back to business here.

Friends, family, followers...thanks for sticking with me.
:)

See Ya on the Other Side.

Chris and I made a pretty big decision for our family last week.
It happened while we were sitting in church.

I was attentively listening to Pastor Matthew's sermon when I happened to glance to my left and caught the eye of a friend sitting with her family on the opposite side of the Sanctuary.  We exchanged a quick smile and wave, and continued our studious note-taking (pfft!).
Shortly after that, I saw another friend, and another friend, and another friend...all sitting in the same general area of the Worship Center. 

Admittedly, I tuned out from the sermon for a few moments to evaluate the current situation.  We sit on the right side of the Sanctuary.  Always have.  It was most convenient to slip out with a fussy baby to the nearby nursing mommy room. 

Well, guess what.
I'm not a nursing mommy any longer.
And, months later, even though I play piano on the opposite side of the stage, I exit the opposite side of the stage, and everyone we KNOW sits on the opposite side of the stage, we were sitting in the same old place.  It just didn't make sense.  Let me illustrate...

The above shows where I play the piano on a given Sunday morning.  It's on the left side of the stage.
We usually sit just to the right of this picture, about 5 rows up on the side.

 

 To get to my seat after worship, I exit the stage on the left, go down a flight of stairs (sorry, I couldn't capture that in my illustration), across the downstairs choir room, down a corridor of classrooms, up another flight of stairs, down the aisle of the church, around and up (with an occasional detour to the cafe).  No wonder I'm always out of breath when I finally sit down!

Wouldn't it be easier if we just SAT on the left side?  It literally astonishes me that we didn't think of this months ago. 

Now, I know church seating can be tricky territory. 
If you sit someplace long enough, it can feel like you own it.
I know, because I grew up Baptist ;-)

But, I'm learning to embrace change in my adulthood.
Some changes we don't have control over.  I've had a lot of those lately.
And other change shakes things up just enough to give us a welcomed new perspective.

Our new perspective will be from the left side from now on...or until we feel another change is necessary.    If you're at Bethel on Sunday, we'll see you on the left side ;-)

Star Spangled Silliness

Dude.
One whole month of 2013 is almost in the books, and I have TWO blog posts to show for it!
It's not that I don't have a whole stash of amazing prose in my brain...(that may be a slight exaggeration...)
It's just that, well, we're on potty watch 24/7 'round here.
You know how that goes.
"Kendall, do you need to go potty?"  "Kendall, let's sit on the potty!"  "Kendall, no!  Wait!  Let's get to the potty before you.....sigh."
As it is, my hands wreak of anti-bacterial hand soap, 409 and carpet cleaner are in the bullpen, and my eyes have been perpetually fixed on the aforementioned three-year-old.

So, there you have it...a whole blog post about why I haven't written more blog posts.  Awesome.

Here's a random tangent...
All of the media attention regarding Beyonce's alleged lip-syncing has been, in my opinion, silliness- silliness we'll have to relive in several days because I'm pretty sure Superbowl Halftime acts get a teeny weeny bit of recorded help, and the "controversy" will be kicked up all over again.  I'm okay with it.  There are plenty of variables that make a live, outdoor show quite challenging.  Just do your thing, Beyonce.  Do your thing.

I saw this and it made me laugh hysterically...I think even non-musicians can appreciate the humor in this:

I'm sure Alicia Keys will produce a similar rendition this weekend before the big game.
We'll enjoy watching it with good friends and good food :)

I'm a Fun Girl, I Promise!

I went out to lunch today.
Sound exciting?  Maybe not to you, but fairly monumental to me.  Let me tell you why.

It required me to get out of my pajamas and put on my makeup...before noon.

If I live in close proximity to you, chances are you haven't seen much of me in the mornings.  It's not that I'm a hermit...I'm not.  (But she is.  haha)  I used to be what's called a "social butterfly".  But these days I've been looking more like a recluse moth.

Having a child who doesn't sleep can be taxing on both the body and spirit.  After waking up multiple times a night with Carter, I learned very quickly that I couldn't recoup my energy in time to be functional in the morning.  (Some people are born with this gift, I am not.)  Coffee, even in abundance, is just no substitute for sleep.  So, I just took mornings OFF the calendar.  And, to be honest, it lifted some anxiety...the awful feeling of knowing you have to be up and out in an hour and you're still rocking a baby.  However, my spirit has been suffering as my inherent need for connection has been squelched.

I remember having a similar feeling a couple months after Kendall was born.  It was February in Duluth, and- uh- it wasn't warm outside.  The easiest scenario for me was staying bundled up inside and enjoying naps with my newborn.  But two months inside our little house (with a dog that drove me crazy, I might add...) gave me an intense case of cabin fever.  I remember making the decision one day to change it.  So, I started making daily outings to the mall, just to walk.  And walk.  And walk.  It was an empowering decision...accompanied by an "I can DO this" kind of freedom.

I had a similar epiphany recently, but have felt physically limited by sleep deprivation.  HOWEVER, and I'm a little afraid to report this because it could literally change overnight, Carter has been on a week-long slumber-fest, giving us stretches of five to eight hours a night!  Do you KNOW what a difference this can make to one's energy levels!?  I've actually felt fragments of my old self being uncovered slowly- a desire to get up, get going, spend energy on friendships because I have a little bit of excess to spend, finally.

I know life is all about seasons.  This has been one long, sleepless season and unfortunately, some of my new friends in Fargo know me as nothing other than a tired, frustrated Mommy.  I'm hoping we've turned a corner here in the sleep department.  And if not, I'm willing to summon all the energy I can to be more intentional with my relationship building.

My new friends here in Fargo have extended more patience and grace to me than they even know.  I'm excited about getting to know them better, and so SO grateful for long-time friends who have been rocks for me during this life transition.  Oh man, God is good.

This rock-solid group of friends has carried me through some tough times. I love you guys!

Christmas 2012- That's a Wrap!

Time for the ol' Christmas WRAP-up!  (See what I did there?)

For me, the Christmas season is always this weird dance between sentiment and stress.  After all, creating memories for my children usually involves some pretty hefty planning on my part.  I'm happy to do it, but I recognize my limits.  In anticipation of this, I completed all of my Christmas shopping prior to Thanksgiving.  It might seem over-ambitious, but it left room for me to enjoy my kids in the midst of the holiday chaos.  With Kendall's birthday (and now Carter's, also) falling between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I have enough to keep me busy WITHOUT the added burden of wackos at the mall.  It works for me.

Here is a little sampler of what we enjoyed as Christmas drew near....
I FINALLY got around to this Pinterest project that I've been excited about completing.  Glad we did it this year, because these little hands aren't getting any smaller...

 

 We put together our Christmas tree and stopped to bask in the new living room ambiance.  My attempt to take an adorable picture of my children in front of the tree was, well...unsuccessful.

 Kendall finally made peace with Rudolph after watching the classic Rudolph movie on television.  "He's not scary!  He's nice!" thankfully, has been her mantra the better half of December.

 We took our kids for the first time to the Rheault Farm Santa Village, where Kendall was able to write a note to Santa (someone explain to me the logic of writing a note and mailing it to the NP when you'll meet Santa in five minutes...but whatever), decorate cookies with Mrs. Claus, and meet the jolly man himself!  Kendall was not at all apprehensive...plopped right up on his lap, asked for a "pink dolly" and was elated that she received a sucker at the end!

 

 (Above:  Kendall proudly displays her sucker, while Carter plans to swoop in for the kill...)

 Kendall also watched the classic version of "Cinderella" for the first time, ushering in the era of the princess :)

 Chris, Jamie and Donna enjoyed a Christmas concert featuring Kutlass at our church.

 Kendall, Mommy and Grandma did lots of baking this holiday season, and Kendall was an eager hostess :)

 We began Christmas Eve festivities with a candlelight service at Bethel.  It's kind of terrifying having a toddler with an open flame! After safely extinguishing our candles, we made our way over to the Stavenger home to celebrate Christmas with Chris' family. 

Christmas morning was spent at our home- a mellow, jammies-all-day kind of celebration (arguably the best kind!).  Kendall is at an age where she is pure entertainment when opening and enjoying gifts.  She is so expressive!  Oh, the magic of Christmas to a child!  Speaking of Christmas magic, Santa brought Kendall her very own tricycle...which she has yet to master but is totally excited to learn!  She also received a toy hair salon kit and opened her own "salon"...Mommy, Grandma AND Daddy were all willing customers.  Carter...not so much.

 And, as much fun as it was to watch Kendall open her gifts, it was equally as fun to watch Carter experiment with his newly discovered walking ability!  Toddle toddle toddle BOOM!  He is quite adventurous, needs no prompting, just takes off across the room!  We have, consequently, invested in some new gates. :) 

In the midst of all of that craziness, both kids had birthdays and parties...but I'll have to save that report for another post.  My fingers are bleeding... ;-)

We hope your Christmas was jolly!