There's Still My Joy

For those who grieve, the holidays don't pass by without some tears.  Not that we don't grieve the rest of the year, but the holidays mean noticeable absences from dinner tables and family traditions.  For me, it's remembering the only person with whom I shared childhood Christmas memories.  Derek would get up early in the morning eager to check our stockings, then make his way back up the stairs to wake me up and report to me.  As we got older, he continued to do this, even though he'd likely go back to bed afterwards.  Derek was the one who would distribute all of our family Christmas presents- excitedly as a boy, then somewhat begrudgingly as a grown-up (he secretly liked it).  And I'll never forget the face he would flash in my direction when he received an ugly sweater or ridiculous gift- he knew I'd be laughing inside.  I miss that.

I would be lying if I said the sting of the holidays hasn't blown through my camp for the above reasons.  But I'm also aware of the miracle of Christmas- the joy we have in our Savior's birth.  Because Jesus came to earth, the gap between us and our God was bridged, and eternity became available to those who recognize Him as Lord.  Because of this day, I'll see Derek again, and enjoy that snarky smile that I miss so much.

I found this song a couple years ago and have been wanting to re-record it, but for now this version (complete with cheesy random google images...just close your eyes and listen...) will have to suffice.




There's Still My Joy

I took my tree down to the shore
The garland, and the silver star
To find my peace, and grieve no more
To heal this place inside my heart

On every branch I laid some bread
And hungry birds filled up the sky
They rang thy bells around my head
They sang my spirit back to life

One tiny child can change the world
One shining light can show the way
For all my tears, for what I've lost
There's still my joy
There's still my joy
For Christmas day

The snow comes down on empty sand
There's tinsel moonlight on the waves
My soul was lost, but here I am
So this must be amazing grace