What I'm Learning about my Son (And Me)

We've successfully transitioned into "the school years" over here; "successfully" would be defined as the absence of total meltdown from any persons involved.  Additionally, we've added a smattering of extracurriculars to the schedule:  Dance class for Kendall and AWANA for both kids at church. 

Kendall sprinted for Kindergarten, as expected.  I walked her in to class the first week of school, and now I get daily requests for me to "drop her off."  None of this comes as a surprise- school is an environment that excites her, and we had her "Miss Independence" pegged long ago.  Her brother is an entirely different animal, a species I am unfamiliar with in many ways.

Where Kendall is my stage performer, Carter is my "Mommy, don't watch me" kid.
Where Kendall exhibits an eager, soft spiritual side, Carter leans in (or out) with more trepidation.
Where Kendall thrives on rewards, Carter cannot easily be bought.
Where Kendall needs variety and a platform for creativity, Carter prefers repetition and simplicity.

None of the above characteristics are traits I share with my son.  And, I realize he is only three, and many more personality traits will manifest over time.  But it is quite amazing watching his personality emerge on it's own, without notable influences from me.  It's a testament to the creativity of God- we are all so divinely and frustratingly unique.

There is one pattern of behavior in Carter that resonates strongly with me.  And by strongly, I mean I can often feel his frustrations myself.  Carter likes to get from Point A to Point B with as few obstacles as possible.  Or none.  No obstacles, no detours.  The most obvious way this is playing out these days is leaving the house.  When we leave (for school, church, etc.), I must tell Carter 1) where we are going, 2) what we are doing, and 3) when we will be BACK home.  His eye needs to be on the prize, and the prize is ALWAYS being back home. 

The times you will find Carter in tears at school or AWANA are trips to the music room, or game room, or playground, or ANY OTHER DETOUR that he was not aware of at Point A.  I cannot tell you how true this is of my own personality.  "Detours" in plans can shake me up so badly that I can no longer recognize I'm still moving toward the goal.  If you're thinking that this mentality would make living a faith-filled life difficult, you are right.  It's a struggle every day to lay down my lack of foresight at the feet of Jesus.  In the very broad scope of things, I know where Point B is, and I'm heading in that direction.  The rest of life....all detours.

Mommyhood is teaching me more about myself than I could have ever dreamed.  And here, I thought Mommying was all about knowing your children inside and out.  I'm grateful that many of Carter's unique qualities will serve him well in life.  He is sweet and affectionate, polite and compassionate.  He is organized in thought, analytical and calculated.  I hope I can be a gracious helper when life throws him (us) little (or big) curveballs.

And to help him actually throw those curveballs, I'll leave that to his Daddy. :)

The Best and Worst of Humanity

Airports are fascinating places.  If you ever want to see some egregious human behavior, you can start there.  The tension of connections, the anxiety of air travel, the outrageous food prices...all create a portal where people feel free to become rude, self-centered jerks.

We recently returned from a trip to Oregon.  We spent some time with Chris' family following the passing of his grandfather, and planned to return home to Charlotte with a comfortable connection in Salt Lake City.

We've got a ticket to ride!

All smiles en route to Portland!

It started out well.  We enjoyed a complimentary breakfast at our hotel, and planned to eat lunch in SLC, our connection.  While in flight to SLC, the pilot notified us that SLC airport had just closed due to a wind storm, and there was a chance we would turn back.  We flew another 30 minutes or so before feeling the plane veer sharp left, as the pilot announced our immediate return to Portland, followed by a change of plans...we would divert to Boise to refuel, and wait for SLC to reopen.  We landed in Boise and sat on the tarmac for over two hours before getting in the air again to SLC.

 

Upon arriving in SLC, we waited in quite a long line to rebook our connection, which we had now missed.  We had also missed lunch....and dinner...being cooped up on a plane all afternoon. Rebooked on a flight early in the morning, we searched for a hotel to camp at for the evening.  There was only ONE still available, so we bypassed food and headed for the shuttle.

We were certainly not dressed for the snowy, chilly weather that greeted us outside at the curb.  Both kids folded into us, shivering as we waited for the hotel shuttle to arrive.  A group of people outside had been waiting and hopped on the shuttle as it pulled up.  The driver promised he'd return in 15 min, so we stepped inside the doorway to wait it out.  As we did that, a large group of people sauntered outside, discussing hotel accommodations...we were all going to the same place.  Waiting inside was no longer an option if we wanted to get on the shuttle, so we returned to the curb.  As the shuttle pulled around (40 minutes later), hysteria ensued as people threw themselves onto the shuttle ahead of us.  I've never seen such reckless, animalistic behavior up close.  Despite pleas from kind onlookers around us, no one volunteered to "let the children go first", though we had been standing there longer than any of them.

We brought our shivering children inside and weighed our options.
OPTION 1: We could stand out in the cold and fight for the next shuttle (another 40 minutes, surely).  That would land us at the hotel late at night- with no bags- and the prospect of fighting these same idiots for a shuttle in the morning.

OPTION 2:  We could sleep in the airport.

The second of the options seemed surprisingly better, especially since it involved food in the immediate future.  (Mama gets hangry.)  We decided to go for it, and I immediately burst into tears.  I immediately felt guilt for not fighting harder and getting a bed for my children.  I was writing speeches in my head, berating the greedy herd that put us in this position, while wandering the airport looking for food.  By this time, everything had closed....except McDonalds.  Good ol' disgusting McDonalds.

We bought a couple blankets and neck pillows and settled some chairs in the corner of the terminal.  As we tucked them in, Kendall looked at us and exclaimed "we're really sleeping at the airport?!"  As expected, she dropped off to sleep immediately, and Carter followed a couple hours later (that kid....).  Chris and I soon gave up on the prospect of sleeping, scrolled through our phones, watched the clocks, grabbed coffee at 5 a.m., woke our sleeping kids and headed for our gate to check in.

Early, when the adventure was still "fun"ish.

Fueled by coffee and adrenaline, we boarded our plane.  Sadly, the snowstorm outside caused a 70 minute delay, and because of this, we would now miss our connection in Atlanta.  Rebooked a couple hours later, our final leg got us home to Charlotte without incident.

Chris described this whole experience as brushes with the worst of humanity.  And I'm fairly certain I've done a good job showcasing the darkest points of our travel experience.  But I'd like to note that we encountered some amazingly compassionate people along the way:

• The young man wearing a hoodie and Beatz headphones who allowed our family and a woman in a wheelchair to step in front of him at the rebooking counter.
• The businessman waiting for the shuttle who offered us sweatshirts from his suitcase when he saw our kids shivering.
• The retired teacher who berated the crowd on our behalf in a failed attempt to get us on the shuttle.  "Sorry...I'm a retired teacher.  Gotta stick up for the kids" she said.
• The flight attendant who supplied us with extra cookies and kind words.
• The foreign lady with a severe limp seated 5 rows in front of us, who came back to our seats and handed my kids activity books and colored pencils at the beginning of the flight.
• The flight crew and pilot that welcomed Carter into the cockpit, let him push some buttons and presented him with "wings".
  

I'd like to think of the above acts of kindness when I recall this trip, but I probably won't.  I've already recounted our travel nightmare numerous times without mention of the many instances people went out of their way to be compassionate.   That's usually the way it goes, isn't it?  The purpose in writing this particular post isn't simply to rant about our experience, but to catalog the goodness we encountered along the way lest I forget it tomorrow.  Those people will never know what their small act of generosity meant to this tired, frustrated Mommy. 

And in the end, by the grace of God, we got home safely.  Needless to say, we all slept very well :)

Running Low on Fruit

THIS is not the grand herald back to the blog I have been anticipating.

Today, I'm feeling cloaked in guilt and failure, and it's barely afternoon.

You see, it's been a rough morning at "the office".

My eldest child accidentally spilled a large glass of apple juice, leaving a huge mess on the table, her brother, her brother's blanket, and her brother's beloved Curious George.  This sent her brother into a meltdown of massive proportions.  Hurrying to clean the sticky mess and calm the wet and hysterical child, my own breakfast- toast- was left in the toaster too long.  As I fiddled with the new washing machine, changed Carter into new pajamas, and refilled the thirsty girl's glass of juice, a dark cloud began to hover over my attitude.

With laundry going and kids now enjoying breakfast calmly, I attempted to remake my breakfast.  No sooner had my toast popped up than another "catastrophe" arose.  Our son, who is taking strides toward potty training, makes a huge, smelly mess in his pull-up.  This is a conversation we've had with him SO many times recently.  I expressed my disappointment and he "promised" to tell mommy before his next poopy.

I cleaned him up, cleared the breakfast table, and looked over at my unbuttered, now-cold toast on the counter.  I thought about what an inconvenience my children had been this morning, as I attempted to salvage my breakfast and my deteriorating attitude.

Both kids are recovering from colds, left only with the residual cough that lingers for-freaking-ever, each cough soon sounding like nails on a chalkboard.  This surely contributed to the irritability and bickering taking place in the playroom as I finally had something to eat.  After finishing, I made my way upstairs to mediate the troubled children.  In between coughs, they make their demands.  They want to play Legos, but MOMMY, I CAN'T OPEN THIS BOX.  MOMMY, I CAN'T FIND THIS PIECE.  MOMMY, I GOT A SCRATCH.  Five minutes later, Legos are old news.  They want to watch The Wiggles instead.  But not THAT Wiggles, Mommy, "the one where Anthony makes the bear go to sleep!"  I have no idea which "one" that is.  We have 15 episodes on our DVR.  I'm clearly taking too long to find it as Carter bursts into tears.

I abandon the Wiggles mayhem and decide to get Kendall dressed for the day.  Except I can't find the ONE undershirt I need for her to wear.  I look EVERYWHERE.  Under beds, through drawers, in laundry baskets, coming up empty each time.  WHERE HAS IT VANISHED!?  I swear, if one more thing goes wrong today...

And then, I smell poop.  Someone dirtied his pull-up AGAIN.  I step aside to collect myself, and then I let him have it.  I raised my voice and he burst into tears as he looked me in the eyes.  He cried as I hastily wiped him up and put a fresh pull-up on him.  And instantly, I felt guilt set in.  I am so disappointed in myself for letting this morning defeat me. 

I sent the kids to the playroom and sat down to get right with God.  My Bible opened to Galatians 5:22-23.  "But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."  I'm pretty sure I was devoid of every one of these this morning.  I brushed tears away as I asked the Holy Spirit to take control of my day.

As I did this, my son came down the stairs bearing a picture he had drawn.  Despite my hostility toward him earlier, he said he had made it for me.  "Who is it?" I asked.  "It's me and sissy and Mommy."  I gave him the biggest hug, and asked him to forgive me for yelling at him earlier.  His hand gently patted me on the back.

I grabbed a book I was given years ago called "The Mom Walk" by Sally Clarkson and perused the prayers.  This one seemed to fit my day....perhaps it will encourage you when "one of these days" happens to you- as it will.

Dear Gracious Father, 
How thankful I am that You have covered me with Your unconditional love and acceptance.  Help me to dwell in the freedom I have as Your child to rest in Your grace, even amid my own immaturity and failures.  Help me to live in the knowledge that You are ever cheering me on and supporting me in my journey toward Your beautiful character.  May it become more evident in my life bit by bit.  Help me to extend that sweet grace and love to my children so that they may perceive the life-giving love You have for them by learning it from me.
Because of Jesus' grace I come to You.
Amen.

Kendall's Royal Salon

For Kendall's fifth birthday, we gave her (and a number of her adorable friends) the royal treatment.  I called in Grandmas and friends to help me pamper this group of princesses from head to toe...curling up their hair, accessorizing with make-up, painting their pretty little nails, and decking them out in royal duds.  Each princess brought their own princess dress and, would you believe, not one was a duplicate!  At the end of our morning together, we treated their moms and dads to a royal promenade- for each to show off their styling.  We had a blast!

Kendall loved her celebration, and being surrounded with special friends.  And WE have loved each of our five beautiful years with our sweet girl!

Ready for the party!

Sweets and treats

Coloring princess pages

Let the pampering begin!

The most beautiful girls in all the land!