Nuddle is My Favorite Word

It's pronounced nuh-ddle.
As in..."Mommy, I want to nuddle with you."

It has become my very favorite word, because it describes my very favorite pastime:  snuggling with my little ones.

While Kendall has always been a champion sleeper (seriously, if it were an olympic sport...), but Carter has been a challenge from the start.  If you are a frequent reader of this blog, this is no surprise to you.

Prior to parenthood, I had such a clear vision of the kind of parent I wanted to be.  But something happens once you actually become a parent.  Family, friends, books, articles, media spots...they can all, at one time or another, put pressure on you to parent the "right" way.  You should be doing ______.  Your children should be doing _____ by _____ time.   It's easy to slip into the trap of letting others influence your parenting decisions, and I've let myself fall into that trap more than once.

I vividly remember one such experience at the beginning of last fall.  We had gotten Carter on a pretty normal nap schedule (a miracle in itself), but I had to hold him.  I enjoyed my break in the day.  It felt good.  But a few unintentional comments from others made me feel guilty for sharing this rest time with Carter...and the constant social media reports from moms-on-the-go made me second-guess my daily routine.  Perhaps I should be doing more, more, more.

I felt like I needed to change my naptime procedure to avoid being judged as a lazy stay-at-home mom.  So I started putting Carter in his crib for naps, and it was a struggle.  Half an hour here, half an hour there.  Crying.  Rocking.  Waking up his napping sister.  Crying.  Rocking.  I was persistent, and it did improve slightly over time...gave me time to do the dishes, anyway.  But no one was well rested, and I wasn't enjoying this time of my day.

On one particularly frustrating day, I brought Carter downstairs with me, ready to throw in the towel on his naps.  He promptly fell asleep as I sat on the couch, and I exhaled deeply.  Here we were, where we started.  It felt good.  It felt heavenly.  I stared and stared at the face of my youngest, hoping to memorize the peace in that moment.

Why hadn't I been doing this all along?  I want to!  So, I made the decision to make our "nuddle" time a priority again.  I know this phase won't last much longer...his naps are getting shorter and shorter...and I don't want to miss any of it (cue Steven Tyler).  Now, I have extra incentive to complete all of my household duties in the morning so that I can enjoy guilt-free cuddles with my baby.

I know what kind of parent I want to be;  I want to be the kind of Mommy that will set aside busywork to savor those snuggles.  They are a precious commodity.