How To Fly Like A Boss...With Toddlers.

After Kendall was born, we took nearly a dozen round-trip flights before she turned ONE.  Carter has not been quite so fortunate, but has logged a good deal of flight time as a lap-baby (after age two, I foresee our air travel diminishing somewhat.  Ka-ching Ka-ching!).

With the exception of one disastrous flight from Chicago to DC, we've never had a total plane meltdown and have gleaned, for the most part, satisfactory comments from those sitting around us.

Every compliment our kids receive is a direct reflection of our PLANNING and HARD WORK.
The fact is, with littles like ours, successful flying is a strategic undertaking of massive proportions.  And for my hours of stressing every minute of the travel day in advance, I am generally rewarded as negative attention is directed at children that are NOT mine.

I am often asked by newer parents, or those less familiar with the friendly skies, about the "dos and don'ts" of air travel in regard to children.  Here, my friends, is how to enjoy your travel:

1)  Plan your flight times strategically.  If you can avoid waking your kids up at 4:30 a.m. to head to the airport or returning far past bedtime, it will be advantageous to your (and their) sanity.  Planning flight times that coincide with scheduled naptimes, for example, give you a perfect opportunity for on-flight sleep (which will be the happiest scenario for you, guaranteed) or a time of day at which they are generally happy.  With that being said, don't plan a red-eye flight from Hawaii to CA and expect that they'll sleep the whole time.  They'll sleep SOME...and then the pressure is REALLY on to keep them quiet!

This is the best case scenario for all flights!

2)  Ask about family lines at Security Gates.  This one is hit-or-miss, but at several airports we have been ushered past LONG lines because we have a stroller and kids in tow (most recently SFO).  This probably, and justly, pisses a lot of other passengers off, but whatev.  ;-)  If they don't direct you to a separate line automatically, it doesn't hurt to ask! 


3)  Bring a BAG of TRICKS.  I can almost guarantee that if you pop their FAVORITE toy into the diaper bag, they will have NO interest in it come time for distraction.  Travel is a good time for NEW toys...they'll buy you at least five minutes :)  iPads and DVD players are only as good as your kids' attention span (mine have, um, none.) AND will bum your kids out when you have to turn them off for take-off and landing.  (Crossing fingers the electronics rumor is true and this will no longer happen!)

4)  Eat on the plane.  Meals and snacks both kill time and keep kids stationary.  If possible, save meals for the plane.  Keep kids WELL fed...snacks here, snacks there (use them as rewards wisely!).  Because we have traveled frequently, I can tell you that when it comes to kids, security tends to be very lenient.  Pop some juice boxes/bottles in a gallon bag- as long as you identify it at security, it should be cleared without incident.  Breast-feeding moms have a lot of leeway here.

5)  Forget about coffee or reading.  Your primary focus is your children.  Wanna finish that novel that's been sitting on your bedtable over a Starbucks Mocha?  FORGET IT (especially if you have a lap baby).  If you're traveling sans children, have at it.  But toddlers in a new environment need constant monitoring.  Their feet are just long enough to kick the seat in front of them, their fingers are fiddling with fold-down trays and window shades...and for the duration of the flight, they should have your full attention.  (Other passengers can easily identify parents who have "checked out".)

6)  Use your layovers wisely!  Whether you have an hour or five to kill, this is the only opportunity your kids will have to burn energy.  Don't be concerned about a little game of tag at the gate or a hundred laps on the moving walkway!  The pessimistic onlookers traveling with you will thank you when your kids drop to sleep on the plane.    And, as an aside, it takes some creativity nowadays to occupy kids for extended periods of time at airports...most have removed their playgrounds for liability purposes (rolls eyes, deep exhale...).

7)  Keep your children physically comfortable.  Airplanes can run sweltering hot or freezing cold...there seems to be no in-between here.  Dress them in layers...top layer can be used as a pillow if needed.  Have a supply of Children's Tylenol on hand (this is another item that should be identified at security).  And, for young children, give them liquids upon take-off and landing.  Babies don't naturally know how to pop their ears which causes a great deal of distress.  Swallowing can assist in their relief.  (For toddlers, consider suckers or juice as well.)

8)  DON'T let your children know that walking the aisles is an option!  I can't stress this one enough.  If you allow them that freedom once, they'll be clamoring for the aisles when they're tired of sitting.  Carry them to the bathroom if necessary, and even tell them that it is against "the rules" for them to get out of their seat.  It only takes ONE time for this rule to go down the toilet for you.  Kids aren't dumb...they remember...

Lastly, and probably the most important rule of all:

9)  KIDS WILL BE KIDS.  You may abide by all of the above, and they'll still go psycho on you.  This is the toddler way.  Sometimes the best you can do is to apologize to those around you, grit your teeth and count the minutes until that plane hits the ground (my method of coping is crying actual tears).  Your children won't always meet your expectations, and grace won't always be readily extended to you.  But if you put in the effort and make it a priority, chances are you will be rewarded with a kind word from the strangers behind you, or a compliment from the flight attendants.  And the greatest reward is the pride you'll have in your kids (and yourself) at the end of your travel day.

 Happy Flying!

Additional suggestions?  Learned a few lessons yourselves?  Leave a comment and let us know!