I'm a Fun Girl, I Promise!

I went out to lunch today.
Sound exciting?  Maybe not to you, but fairly monumental to me.  Let me tell you why.

It required me to get out of my pajamas and put on my makeup...before noon.

If I live in close proximity to you, chances are you haven't seen much of me in the mornings.  It's not that I'm a hermit...I'm not.  (But she is.  haha)  I used to be what's called a "social butterfly".  But these days I've been looking more like a recluse moth.

Having a child who doesn't sleep can be taxing on both the body and spirit.  After waking up multiple times a night with Carter, I learned very quickly that I couldn't recoup my energy in time to be functional in the morning.  (Some people are born with this gift, I am not.)  Coffee, even in abundance, is just no substitute for sleep.  So, I just took mornings OFF the calendar.  And, to be honest, it lifted some anxiety...the awful feeling of knowing you have to be up and out in an hour and you're still rocking a baby.  However, my spirit has been suffering as my inherent need for connection has been squelched.

I remember having a similar feeling a couple months after Kendall was born.  It was February in Duluth, and- uh- it wasn't warm outside.  The easiest scenario for me was staying bundled up inside and enjoying naps with my newborn.  But two months inside our little house (with a dog that drove me crazy, I might add...) gave me an intense case of cabin fever.  I remember making the decision one day to change it.  So, I started making daily outings to the mall, just to walk.  And walk.  And walk.  It was an empowering decision...accompanied by an "I can DO this" kind of freedom.

I had a similar epiphany recently, but have felt physically limited by sleep deprivation.  HOWEVER, and I'm a little afraid to report this because it could literally change overnight, Carter has been on a week-long slumber-fest, giving us stretches of five to eight hours a night!  Do you KNOW what a difference this can make to one's energy levels!?  I've actually felt fragments of my old self being uncovered slowly- a desire to get up, get going, spend energy on friendships because I have a little bit of excess to spend, finally.

I know life is all about seasons.  This has been one long, sleepless season and unfortunately, some of my new friends in Fargo know me as nothing other than a tired, frustrated Mommy.  I'm hoping we've turned a corner here in the sleep department.  And if not, I'm willing to summon all the energy I can to be more intentional with my relationship building.

My new friends here in Fargo have extended more patience and grace to me than they even know.  I'm excited about getting to know them better, and so SO grateful for long-time friends who have been rocks for me during this life transition.  Oh man, God is good.

This rock-solid group of friends has carried me through some tough times. I love you guys!